Thursday, December 9, 2010

Just In Time for the Holiday Commute...


This, strictly speaking, is not necessarily a college misery. However, it happened on the way to a miserable college, and so I am sharing it.

This morning on the way to work, I noticed...well...I'm not sure what it was. At first I thought someone had hit a deer, and the deer was on the side of Interstate 69. Then I got closer and it looked...well...more like a deer asleep...legs folded neatly under itself, head up, eyes closed. Then I got even closer and IT WAS A DONKEY.

So, in the interest of public safety, when I got to work, I called the State Department of Transportation. The conversation went like this:

SDOT: Good morning, this is -------.

Me: Uh, hi. Uh, I just got to work? I work at Second String State? And I was coming to work this morning, well...I think I saw a donkey in the road.

SDOT: (bursts out laughing)

Me: I know, right?

SDOT: Ma'am, I bet that was a deer (more laughing).

Me: I know, that's what I thought, but I really think it was a donkey. I mean, I'd had a whole cup of coffee before I saw it, so...

SDOT: (laughs even harder)

Me: Uh...it was...um...on Route 69? Westbound...between mile marker 91 and 90...so, uh, somebody might want to check that out.

SDOT: (laughs) I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Me: Yeah...it really looked like a donkey just...asleep.

SDOT: (pause) Like...in the Nativity, like?

Me: Um. Yeah. Like that.

SDOT: Well, ma'am, I think it might be a deer, but we sure will send somebody out right away. And we thank you for calling that in.

Like in the Nativity. Right. I mean, in terms of imagery, she was dead-on. It looked exactly like the sleeping donkey in the outdoor church nativity in front of St. Patricks when I was a kid. In fact, maybe it WAS an extremely realistic Nativity donkey that some college kids had, for no apparent reason, relocated to a completely nondescript stretch of highway. Or maybe it blew there. Or perhaps...it was...Divine Donkey Placement!

Oh, well. Hilarity ensued.

2 comments:

  1. This made for a nice laugh in the middle of marking hell.

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  2. I was once driving to a job on Highway X and in the breakdown lane there was a yellow car with people hanging out the windows. I saw no blood, but the minute I got to work I called the Highway Patrol and they acted like they wanted nothing to do with investigating it. Even though that is a part of their job. Our cops suck.

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