Sunday, January 30, 2011

An Auspicious Start

Dear snowflakes:

Greetings to those who weren't up to attending the first class: Even though I've posted the syllabus in two places, I salute your initiative in asking what assignments are due next week. I realize that actually reading the syllabus is such a bother, which must be why one snowflake requested an office appointment so I could convey this information verbally.

And now for those of you who did show up: I commend the three snowflakes who announced that they're taking my course to express their personal voice--a unique goal for a business basketweaving class.From the in-class assignment I gave you, it appears that all but one of you are deluding yourselves about making a living in this field but persist we must because your tuition checks have been cashed and the school plans to purchase more real estate.

I have lots of speakers, field trips and small group discussions planned to keep you in a jolly mood. I know we're in for a great semester or at least a long one.

Professor Ihatemylife (You'll probably want to call me by first name even though I've never given you permission to do so.)


  1. I hate it when they call me by my first name. I have had phone conversations that go "is this first name?" "This is Mrs. Last Name." Pause "First Name?" "Mrs. Last Name." This usually continues for about three cycles before they catch on or hang up.

  2. Hey Ihate! I missed the first three lectures so can I have your notes? Also I didn't buy the textbooks,do we have to? I need an extension on the assignment I just found out was due last week because you never gave me a syllabus ... cheers, Clueless Student

  3. I posted a vocabulary list of key terms next to the assignment on BlackHoleBoard.
    Sure enough, I got an email today: "Do you expect us to know the terms? Or can we ignore them. I'm confused." No dear snowflake, I expect you to know nothing and to retain less, and I am rarely disappointed.


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