Dear Namby Pamby Co-Worker,
You are the problem and the bane of my existence. You are the reason that when students get to my class they cannot read basic directions, follow deadlines, or write a basic paper. To help solve this problem I have gotten together with like minded professors to offer you the following suggestions.
1. If you make a deadline follow it. Do not accept every excuse under the sun as to why Suzy Snowflake could not turn in her paper on Green Baskets. It does not matter if her cat died or if her computer exploded just as she was about to print her paper, unless she has confirmation from a doctor that she was bleeding from the head give her a zero.
2. Try to improve their writing skills. I don’t want to hear, “Prof Namby Pamby told me to write a paper this way.” At first I simply assumed they were lying, but the evidence is mounting against you. I don’t care what field you are in, a paper that is a two page long single paragraph is just plain wrong.
3. Remember, they are not your friends. Stop treating them as such. Stop getting drinks with them on Friday night, stop trying to be the “cool prof”. You are not teaching them anything.
If anyone else has other suggestions you will be receiving them shortly.