During the first week of classes at my institution, a mid-sized community college, as I would be walking around the fringes of campus to get from place to place, I noticed an almost constant line of cars at the single-day parking permit kiosks. In those five days, the college pulled in roughly $35000 in single-day parking permit fees. Parking Services doesn’t start checking for parking permits until the start of the second week of classes. On to the smack.
Foolish Freddie the Football Player - I know it was difficult to attend class regularly last semester because of football. When you told me it wouldn’t happen again this semester if I added you, I was skeptical, but I thought “Why the hell not? He’s a nice enough kid.” Fortunately, you were on the waitlist, so I wasn’t playing favorites. The only condition I put on my waitlisted students was that they attend the second day of class before getting my signature. Imagine my surprise when you didn’t show up on Day 2. It was almost like déjà vu all over again.
Texting Tina, Thomas, and Trent - While I’m tired of hearing it, I do appreciate where you’re coming from when you say something similar to “I’ve never had an affinity for your area of expertise, but it’s the last GenEd class I need for transfer.” However, and please don’t take this the wrong way, you aren’t going to pick this shit up by fucking osmosis. Put down the fucking phones, pick up your pencils, and take some notes.
Repeat Offender Robert - I’m glad that you realize that online classes require more work than traditional classes. I appreciate the fact that you are only taking the online version of this course due to scheduling issues. Hell, I even appreciate the honesty when you stated that you wouldn’t necessarily excel in an online class versus a traditional course, but having attempted this class on three prior occasions, you’ve seen the material, so it shouldn’t be as bad as for a “first-timer.” However, it probably wasn’t the wisest idea to include as your reason for withdrawing on those three prior occasions the fact that “the instructor couldn’t explain anything well.” I happen to know that the pass rate for those classes was roughly 80%. How do I know this? You were enrolled in my sections on all three occasions, dumbass.
Foolish Freddie the Football Player - Ah, back for a further spanking, are we? Alrighty then. You say that because of my class last semester, your GPA dropped below eligibility level? However, your coach tells you that you can be conditionally reinstated to participate in Spring practice if you are able to get into my class? I only have two things to say about that. First, I’ve seen your GPA, and it took a whole lot more than just my class to render you ineligible. Like all of your classes. You even got an F in Weight Training. Second, I would have let you in the class, but for the fact that you didn’t show on the second day of class, as required. You waited until today, the fifth day of class. After the add deadline. So, did you ever actually attend practice last semester, or did you just show up on the first day so you could use “I’m on my community college football team,” as a pick-up line? Nothing to say, eh? I believe your line is “Thank you sir. May I have another.”
Put down the phones and pick up the pencils.
ReplyDeleteIf I could do needlepoint, I'd make a little gin cozie with that on it!!!
Like Foolish Freddie, I have a number of students who can ONLY conquer their goals through my silly little class.
ReplyDeleteIs there something in the college catalog I don't know? Am I the only soft touch in the college?
Why is an A in my class the only one that counts. Why don't they pull up their bootstraps in Advanced Navel Rubbing instead, and leave me and my Eye Closing Department cohort alone?
It makes me angry to think that, in today's horrible economy, Foolish Freddie's being registered in your classes may well mean that some other more deserving student can't be there, all because of his alleged ability to play a stupid game. I hope he is given the boot from your college as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteI had a student "need" my overbooked class to graduate. It's at the The Fire Marshall Will Yell At Me state on the books. But people always drop. I told him to audit until someone dropped and he said "What's 'audit' mean? Take a class for nothing? Forget that." and walked away. No, idiot, it means come so that when, let me repeat, WHEN, not "if", WHEN you get in, because you WILL get in because 10 people WILL drop this class after the first quiz, you will have taken, and possibly passed, the first quiz. It means don't just check back in three weeks and expect to be able to jump in. So you want to "forget" it, good, I will forget you too. And you can not come back here next week now that those 10 people have dropped. I won't do it now, fuck off.
ReplyDeleteI also had a girl register for the wrong lab. Not the wrong section, the wrong class. Registrar should have locked her out because she didn't have the prerequisites for the one she was in. This came to my attention when she said "That's not the book we're using for my section of the lab." at which point I told her "There is no other section for the lab." This was week 1. This was when all we'd done was safety orientation. This was when both classes were still identical. I wrote her a note to take to registrar so she could be added to the correct class. She blew off week 2 because she didn't need the lab she was in and figured by not being registered for the right one yet, she would some how have exemptions. Week 3 she asked me what to do about the experiment from the week before. I told her "I guess that'll be the one drop for you." and she freaked out. She said "But I wasn't in the class yet!!!" I know, but you had had my personal invitation to the class and a magic note to bring to registrar. You weren't in the class yet because YOU DIDN'T FEEL LIKE COMING. I can't stand it. They have to make up their minds, do they want my class so bad or not?
I'm never signing another over-load form or late add slip again. EVER.
EVER!!