Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Princess Bride

At the end of class, one of my Overeager Overparticipators - let's call him Oscar - asked to talk to me. Well versed in the ways of these snowflakes, I propped the door open so the department manager could be a witness, put on my Helpful Proffie Face, and settled in to listen.

Oscar, it seems, is having nightmares about my basketweaving class. Oscar is afraid people will hate him for his opinions. Oscar's buddies have been trying to talk him out of the class because it's going to be so hard on Oscar.

What could be troubling little Oscar so? Confide in your proffie, do!

Oscar, it seems, is a nihilist.

And this nihilism makes it hard for him, you see. He just can't care. Being asked to write about something that makes him care...it's just not possible for him, philosophically. It's why he couldn't turn in his first assignment. It's why he's just not happy working in a group. It's why having a class on Problems in Basketweaving will be difficult, because he just doesn't see the point.

His nihilism doesn't keep Oscar from trampling on the words of his fellow students, however. He was very angry because his fellow classmates did not agree with him. He knew he was absolutely right in regards to the techniques of basketweaving and what must be known prior to begin the practice. He was, in his own words, "on the edge of his seat" to explain how stupid everyone else is.

That word, dear Oscar...I do not believe it means what you think it means.

9 comments:

  1. Well when he gets that inevitable D or F, then it's a good thing he is already well-practiced at not caring.

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  2. He's not a nihilist - just a douchebag or a burnout case.

    ...And we've gone all Moscow in the background.

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  3. Scratch that....we've gone all Leningrad.

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  4. This reminds me of the nihilist in the swimming pool in "The Big Lebowski". Have fun with it!

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  5. This is just an immature little prick using any excuse that wanders into his transom to avoid work. I'd deal with him thusly. Nihilist, my ass: if that's true, why does he even come to class in the first place?

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  6. Um, wait, he's not allowed to care b/c he's a nihilist but he's afraid people will laugh at him?

    Weenee-hilist.

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  7. I'm always on the edge of my seat to explain how stupid everyone else is, too.

    But then, I'm an asshole.

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  8. “Ve are nihilists! Ve believe in nozzing!”

    Had to be said. This guy sounds like all the faux "anarchists" I've seen at protests who only show up on the off-chance that a riot breaks out. Except lazier.

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