The Monday after the world was supposed to end I was planning on a few solid hours of getting ready for open house. We have some sort of sports thing being opened and the Powers That Be have decreed that we have to present ourselves as being an academic institution, too, this weekend. Whatever.
It was to be a Photoshop & Copier day. As I walked into my office I was greeted by a secretary: "The Internet isn't working!". A quick glance at my Internet-based telephone showed me that it was in the process of looking for an IP number and would not be of much use for calling IT to ask what's up.
I opened up my laptop and found our usual WLAN names missing. Instead there was one I had never seen before called "JesuitSeminary". We don't have a school of theology.... I whipped out my mobile phone in order to bitch - and there was no connection. Luckily, one of my assistants had a phone with a different carrier, and we dialed IT.
The line was busy.
I started joking about the IT department probably having been taken in the Rapture over the weekend. I mean, come on, we don't have fundamentalists in the IT department, do we? It's a joke, people, get it?
Anyway, we had 3 Internet-based printers around, a color one, a slow one and a fast one that collates and staples and makes coffee. We started off trying to print the color flyers using a USB stick. The copier replied with an unintelligible error message that I interpreted as meaning "F-you".
We moved on to the B&W flyer on the slow copier. Slow as in it took 10 minutes for it to print 3 pages from the stick. Okay, we now have a version we can use on the fast copier. We sailed over, put the fancy new copier card on the special pad - and realized that this copier needs an Internet connection to decide if I still have copies left.
We returned to the color copier, misused it to make B&W copies that we collated by hand, and stapled them all by hand.
Every now and then the Internet would come back on, my telephone would suddenly come back to life, but the IT "hotline" was always busy. It took most of the day before I got through to them. Yes, they had been "fixing" the Internet over the weekend and it seemed they had overlooked something. But everything was fine now. We only had to reschedule a gazillion IT-based classes and online classes and find more time to get everything ready for this weekend. And my secretaries all have nice looking fingernails for some reason.
Am I being bad for kind of wishing that there had been an IT Rapture at our school? Then we could have hired some new people.