Monday, June 27, 2011

Real Goddamned Mail: A Potpourri of Pissiness.

  • Sometimes when I log on to the site there are a whole bunch of posts, too many to read, and other times there's just one or two. I think you should standardize how many posts are up each day, like 5 or 6. Too many and it's confusing.
  • You didn't have any new material posted this weekend. If you can't get posts up regularly you might want to highlight that info in the sidebar. Say you post sporadically or something. 
  • I wish people would quit uploading articles from the Chronicle and newspapers like the Philadelphia Inquirer? Why do I want to read that? Can't one of the editors keep a tighter control on what gets on the page.
  • Last time I checked this was MY page, too, and when you let readers lambaste me in comments, it appears to me that my value to the page is being minimized. I won't write anymore FOR you if you don't offer more editorial guidance to the boors who send in ignorant comments.
  • Please remove me from the list immediately. I'm tired of the catty bullshit on the page.
  • I think you should make Beaker Ben a moderator. He's the only one who does anything for the page.
  • Tell Beaker Ben to limit his submissions to once a day at most. If he wants a personal blog, tell him that Beaker Ben is available on wordpress and blogger, and that I'll be sure to never read them.
  • I know it's probably your "style," but titling the page Kollig Mizry sends a message that this page is just a joke, and I can't imagine that's what you want.
  • I don't see any other way around it, but you must store up posts to put on the site whenever I put one on, pushing mine to the bottom. I went back to my last 5-6 posts, and each time, right afterewardsa bunch of videos and articles and so forth are on top of mine. Of course I dont get many comments because you're making it impossible for my readers to see my work.
  • At the request of many people I posted something over the weekend and one of your "favorites" more or less called me a liar. Please take down my post and remove me from your files. I will post my material somewhere else where it will be valued.
  • I have a slow connection and can't watch the videos. Can you make them smaller or faster and put them somewhere else where I can download them?
  • Whoever has changed the background recently has forgotten we live in a colorful world. It's a depressing page and it might be the worst looking academic blog I've ever seen. If you aren't going to take it seriously, I know that I and other readers won't either.
  • I sent in a request two weeks ago that "Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx," my post from last week should be considered for Post of the Week. But you didn't reply and then I don't think ANY post was Post of the Week. What's the point of having that feature if you're not going to use it. And my post had more comments than any others that day. That should tell you something.
  • You "featured" a question I asked on your Real Goddamn Mail bit a couple of months ago. You took it on of context to make fun of me. I showed the original to a few friends and they all believe that I had a valid point and that you guys are assholes for not responding more professionally.
  • I posted something last week and Xxxxxx insulted me quite ruefully. I don't think it's right that you protect the in crowd and allow someone like me - who has much more to do than just write for your 'Blog' - to get abused. Apply all the rules or shut the place down. I know what I'd prefer.


  1. Ahh Fab. God bless ya for dealing with all this shit. I definitely could not take it but I do love the page.

  2. Ba ha ha ha. What a buncha babies. Hope they enjoy their ride on the waaambulance!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Can I also say, that I just fucking love the narcissists who believe that the reason their post only got three comments is because it got pushed down the page by other posts.

    Here's your tidbit of daily wisdom fuckstick: Your post didn't generate any comments because nobody found it interesting enough to comment, not because of how long it stayed at the top. It could stay at the top for three weeks and it would still only have three comments. Or at least every subsequent comment would be "why is this stupid post still clogging up the top of the page" variety.

    Look, it is like publishing (have you done any of that lately?). Sometimes your article submission gets good reader's reports. Sometimes it gets rejected post haste by the editors without going out to readers. You pay your postage and you takes your chances...

  5. Jesus Christ some of us sound just like our students...

  6. People think this little corner of the internet is rude? Most comments are on topic, with a few low level trolls. We're squeaky clean compared to youtube, or worse, mommy blogs.
    But if you are convinced that all comment here must be rude, I aim to please!

    We're a bunch of snarky bastards here. If you can't deal with sarcasm GTFO.

  7. Wow--I'm always stunned by these because it never occurs to me to complain to FAB about these things. It's not like FAB posts articles above someone else's or instructs people to comment on a blog entry that has no interest to anyone. And the background? Who wants to be in charge of that??? Thanks, Fab, for all you do!

    And I love me some Beaker Ben! Beaker Ben at least comments on stuff.

  8. Fake. No way does anyone take this page so fucking seriously. Can they be really that delusional? No. I want this to be fake.

  9. Please remove your blog from the internet listing service for I am personally offended by something said by a commenter.

    Also, I am aware of all internet traditions.

  10. I think you ought to post those with the sender's moniker attached.
    Christ on a cracker, the whining is over the top!

  11. FM.

    Commiserations, Fab. What a waste of your time.

  12. God, that was funny. The four U. Miami faculty must have hired some adjunct moderators to write material for CM. It takes a great comedy team to up with pure comedy gold like that.

    Let me say something about myself as a moderator. Alexander Haig stood at the presidential podium after Reagan was shot and said, "I'm in charge now." Remember how you muttered, "God help us all." and figured we had about 8 minutes before the Soviets returned fire with ICBMs? Yeah, it would be kind of like that. I sometimes have issues wielding power responsibly.

  13. Fab, you really did make this stuff up, right? Because, I mean, responsible academic types here, surely we don't all sound like whiny 2 year olds behind the scenes?

  14. I agree with Midwest May. No one who sent those e-mails should ever complain about their students being dumb snowflakes.

  15. We all have a friend who's a topper, right, someone who can top whatever story you've just told? "Oh, you went to Ireland for sabbatical, well let me tell you, I went to Greece AND Thailand, and when I was there...."

    Anyway, I never have a topper opportunity. Until today.

    Not only are these emails all real, one of the commenters in the thread actually SENT one of the complaints.

    Or, if it's easier for you to handle it, the Miami 4 wrote it all, complained about all, and then brought the page to you as it appears.

  16. That's awesome, Fab! Way to TOP yourself! :o)

  17. Oy. Some people don't seem to quite "get" the concept of a group-authored, free-to-them blog -- or appreciate how much work moderating is. This reminds me of people at church who have many, many opinions about what "the church" should do, but seem to forget that they, like every other member, *are* "the church."

    Thanks for putting up with all of this Fab. I'm still not sure that the moderator necessarily has to, or should, read all the email that comes in, though I suppose it's hard to sort the ridiculous from anything that might be important (or even pleasant to read -- is anybody sending kudos? I don't, because I realize it's just more mail to read, but perhaps those of us who are perfectly happy should now and then).

    And the topper? Wow. And oy again.

  18. Wow! Did you hack my inbox? Those have to be from my snowflakes!

  19. Dear College Misery,
    I have irritable bowels and it's ALL YOUR FAULT.
    Sexy Lexy

  20. I agree with Archie that a lot of this sounds like heavy cases of narcissism. I think a lot of us have some of it - it is a stereotype of the academic and I know I have a dose of it. But sheesh.

    I was initially concerned last fall and winter with the "pace" of posting here and stories leaving the top too soon. But I soon realized that stuff gets read and commented even after it drops off the top. It is part of the price of being in a group blog. Those other posts also attract traffic.

    I have my own blog where I can have it all be about me if I want. Some of these mailers should do the same and stop taking this so seriously.

  21. THIS is the worst looking academic blog on the Internet? You really mean to tell us that there's nobody out there who took their design inspiration from 1990's websites—either "browser grey" backgrounds with black text and awkwardly placed rectangular graphics in the 216-color "web safe" palate, or purple-and-green with flashing text, animated GIFs, every HTML tag known to man, and a MIDI file from Hell?

    Hey Fab. Read that sentence above. Redesign appropriately.

  22. ...In another thread I wrote "fuck the Wehrmacht after 1940"; I wish to issue a retraction of that statement. The statement should be: Fuck the Werhmacht after 1938, and fuck the Waffen-SS after 1936.

    That is all.

  23. Dear this person: "I posted something last week and Xxxxxx insulted me quite ruefully." I do not think ruefully means what you think it means.

  24. If only there was a way to see the posts that have already scrolled off the page...

  25. Hey Fab, can I steal your "potpourri of pissiness" for my syllabus?

  26. @cc

    yes, with a 10% finder's fee, of course...


  27. That is some really fucking great shit.
    Thanks, Fab.


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