Thursday, November 17, 2011

Name that moderator

OK, we should all take a deep breath, appreciate the return to "normalcy" of College Misery after this morning's nuttiness and the week's drama.  We should relax and move on.  We should do all of this, beginning right after this post.  We need to clear up something that bothered me with Cal's recent announcement.

I want the moderator to have a name.  We, the readers and citizens of College Misery, deserve nothing less than a named moderator.  Without a name, how can we politely address our email messages expressing our thanks and appreciation?

Let's see some creative names in the comments.


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39 comments:

  1. This must be a hacker. Ben would never break the sacrosanct rule about left margin graphics.

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  2. We shall call him "Mini-meme."
    Or an offering from a previous generation- "Tim?"

    I got nothin' else right now..

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  3. How about *&#%! ? It sounds like most of the male is addressed to some equivalent of that anyway.

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  4. Oops; "male" should be "mail." Maybe that was a Freudian slip -- but it got you another comment.

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  5. How about "Censor Master" or "Big Brother"? Although bottom feeding adjunct would fit pretty much everyone here.

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  6. "anonymous" is our "honest_prof," "asst dean," etc. he's the dumbest fuck ever at the university of oregon.

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  7. How about Lord RGM, Destroyer of Trolls, Smacker of Snowflakes, Duke/Dutchess of the Faculty Lounge Coffeepot? We could even do the knighting ourselves.

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  8. RGM for the win. CM, are you outing "anonymous?" Because, well, you should.

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  9. just number them like in some bad 70s scifi movie.

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  10. The Mad Mod

    And if honest_prof really is at UofO, then I know some guys there who can take care of it once and for all, if you get my drift.

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  11. It being Eugene, I'll be paying them in weed, of course. But that's cool. I've got a solid connect on that front.

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  12. I honestly love that the background graphic is a ranting Donald Duck tile.

    Such a creative community.

    I vote for RGM, Slayer of Trolls.

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  13. I would go for "The Master" in "Manos: The Hands of Fate." Why? There are a lot of free photos of the guy on Google, the movie is on YouTube so you can make gifs, it has kitsch value.

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  14. Donald Duck appears to be wearing Oregon insignia gear, too. Much as I dislike the idea of outing anyone, it probably is the moderator's ultimate weapon when all other alternatives have been exhausted, and in this case I'd say it might just be justified.

    I like both RGM and trollbane, but RGM, Slayer of Trolls scans better than RGM, trollbane, I think.

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  15. Woo hoo, go Ducks! Woot! [ahem.] I like Trollbane. Sounds like a unique relic sword in Dungeons and Dragons. +5 against Threadshitting! Tard-resistance!

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  16. Hang on, Strellie, if you're going to pick The Master, at least go with the one from classic Doctor Who—you know, because he keeps on regenerating just when you think you've killed him. We'll decide later if we should go for the bearded late Tom Baker era one, or the early TB skeleton-with-random-bits-of-flesh-barely-attached version.

    Also, that may be the most Godawful backdrop we've ever seen on this site. We Approve.

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  17. Isn't the problem that Anonymous keeps regenerating?

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  18. Well at least I understand the background now. What I don't understand is the thought processes of trolls as honest prof.
    Can any psych proffies explain their motives?

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  19. @Annapolis Aethelfrith

    [SPOILER] The Master wins at the end of "Manos."
    He also gets to mouth awful lines like:

    "Arise my wives! Give ear to the the words of Manos. Arise my wives, and hear the words of Manos!"

    "You have failed us Torgo. And for this you must die!"

    Of course, when they ran this on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" the crew got a lot of milage out of The Master.

    (camera pans up to his face) Crow: Bill Buckner!

    The Master: Silence!
    Joel: ...is golden!

    (when The Master flings out his robe) Tom Servo: The black and red Moses of soul.

    Tom Servo: The Amazing Technicolor Poncho!

    (camera pans down to a burning pyre. The Master is standing behind it.) Crow: Oh my God, my pants are on fire.

    If it were not for MST3K, nobody but the fringe of bad movie watchers would have heard of "Manos: The Hands of Fate."

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  20. Mod. James Mod. Or Proffie Galore.

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  21. I like both of Annie Oakley's suggestions, though Trolls bane has a special place in my heart.

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  22. I must confess I never saw Manos, though I did appreciate MST3K.

    I'm with Aethlefrith - as soon as 'the Master' was suggested I immediately pictured the bearded Tom Baker era Master. Besides, his greek-column Tardis had a certain evil-genius cachet.

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  23. Ah, I'd forgotten about Manos: Hands of Fate. One of those sublimating responses, I suspect. I will try to forget again.

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  24. @Cassandra: Angry Donald is the official UofO mascot, so no creativity points there. There is actually a kind of interesting story about the UofO Donald that involved an undergraduate research project that foiled Disney's attempts to force the university to stop using him.

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  25. Angry Archie said...
    Angry Donald is the official UofO mascot, so no creativity points there.


    Yeah, lazy fucking moderators. Why couldn't they have created a new waterfowl mascot from scratch? Another typical reason why this page blows so hard.

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  26. I'm so proud of all of you for finding a name for our moderator. RGM is a very good choice.

    Now that I have two posts with 30+ comments each, my immature need for attention and approval is sated, possibly for the entire weekend. Thank you.

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  27. I notice there's now an "IP Blocker" link at the bottom of the page. Idly wondering whether it's directed at the entire University of Oregon; or possibly all of Portland.

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  28. UO is a couple hours south of Portland, as the duck flies, in Eugene.

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  29. I like proffie galore, that's great!

    But Real Goddamned Moderator is just too good to pass up.

    Any word on the adoption of our suggestions? COME ON MOD DON'T MAKE ME SEND YOU REAL GODDAMNED MAIL!!!

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