Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Stop bothering me!

The semester is over – please let me just stay here in my fetal position, sulking. Stop emailing me about something you already have in your possession!

Admin: I need the (dumb abbreviation that makes no sense) form.

Me: I’m not sure what that is, but I think you are referring to the white form? I gave you that in the summer.

Admin: That’s the one. Please email it to me.

Me: I handed it to you in the summer. I only have my pink copy. I can send you that.

Admin: I need the white one.

Me: You have the white one. Also, if I’m supposed to turn in the white one to Admissions each time I fill it out, why would I have it? I gave them my white forms for this semester too. Should I try to recover them?

Admin: You are required to give the white form to them. I need your copy.

Me: (banging face on wall) Soooo – you have the copy you’re asking for AND you need another copy!!!?? (resuming banging face on wall)


  1. Jeebus. How many manifestations, how many variations, how many permutations of "admin people are an alien mindset" can there be? I am not saying this is a superfluous posting. On the contrary. I love this shit. I am just amazed at how bizarre it gets.

    The solution to the specific problem here would presumably be to make lots of copies of each form you fill out and simply send everything you do to everybody, the paper version of what happens with e-mail anyway.

  2. Mail them a pipe-bomb.

    Merry Christmas.

  3. The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

  4. "The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone."

    "Airplane!" was the best comedy of the late 1970s bar none. It was more like a live action "Mad Magazine" parody of Irwin Allen movies than a regular comic parody film of the period.

    "Airplane II", on the other hand, was a dumb retread and only slightly funny because William Shatner was allowed to operate at Maximum Ham, a level of overacting he only achieved before in that "Star Trek" episode where he changed bodies with the crazy lady scientist. I'm sure the set stank of bacon for days.

  5. Zappa seems appropriate here, as Ben's comment reminded me:

    "The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, go to the white zone.

    You'll love it. It's a way of life."

  6. Last quarter I wrote on a student's paper, "Shirley, you can't be serious." (His name was not Shirley.)

    What can I say; I was exhausted and mildly fed up.

  7. I show an image of Ted Striker in a lecture.

  8. College administrators are getting dumber.

    And Leon's getting laaaaaaaaaaaaarger!

  9. @ Lex: and how long did you have to spend dealing with the complaints?


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