A student made a VERY serious allegation about me today. It didn't fly, but I'm still very upset.
You know how if you send a student to the Dean for discipline, the student likes to invent dirt on you? This particular student tried to say that I came to class two weeks ago, drunk and puking all over the room.
Dear Lying Bitch of a Student:
Oh, that was clever wasn't it? I'll bet you learned that one in high-school. But, because you have no critical thinking skills whatsoever, you didn't take the time to think about how you could get caught in this lie!
For starters, don't you think somebody would have told maintenance about vomit all over the classroom? And I have the same question for you as the Dean of Students had: Why didn't you report this 2 weeks ago when this supposedly happened? I know why and the Dean does too. You are a lying sac of shit, that's what you are. You've forgotten that this is a really small campus and our administration knows the students on a first name basis. Good luck with any future complaints, as no one in the admin building is going to believe you now.
I treasure the fact that our Dean of Students actually supports the faculty. Oh, what's that? The lady next to you is going to write another letter to the President? Bring it on! I can use the money! So, be ready to pay up!
You are here to learn mathematics. Shut your laptop and pay attention means exactly that. If your rich spoiled ass can't handle that, then go back to the gated community you came from. You are a minority here and are cramping our style.
Your very sober, abused, and overworked EMH.