Thursday, August 30, 2012

This Week's Big Thirsty: "Do you have a Band-Aid?"

The undergrads are back, and more clueless than ever.

One of the profs at my school - call her Bonnie - is a white woman who looks younger than she is (mid-30's). She told me that this morning after her large 100-level class, there was a line of students waiting to ask her questions. Most of the questions, of course, could be answered by some variation on RTFS. Bonnie answered them all politely and efficiently, even though she was in a rush to get across campus to teach her next class (and had thus informed the 100-level class).

The last student, however took things to a new low by asking Bonnie for a Band-Aid. Apparently, the student had stubbed a toe and was looking to the nearest mommy-like figure for help. Bonnie, slightly taken aback, responded simply, "No, sorry, I don't have a Band-Aid." And the student actually seemed disgruntled/put out that she doesn't carry a first-aid kit for student medical emergencies! She's a tenure-track university prof, for crying out loud, not a kindergarten teacher.

When Bonnie was telling me this story, she and I agreed that if she were any one of the many older men who teaches in our department, the student would probably *not* have asked for a Band-Aid. On the other hand, it's not entirely outside of the realm of possibility. Some of the students, especially the incoming freshmen, are just that clueless/helpless.

Q: Do you think any of your students would hold you up to ask for a Band-Aid? If so, how would you respond?

22 comments:

  1. I'd direct them to the first-aid kit in the nearest lab. By law, this first-aid kit will be hung prominently on the wall next to the door. Don't rely on the morphine to still be there: the grad students likely used it for last weekend's party.

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  2. Like Bonnie, I've been asked for BandAids, Advil, lotion, gum, mints, a stapler (!), paper to write on, Post-Its, a bottle of water, crackers (for a woman who claimed queasiness), cold medicine, a spare sweater, and all manner of writing supplies. My male colleague (same age; we graduated within two years of each other) has been here a year and has yet to be asked for anything other than directions to my office.

    My response is usually to direct them to wherever they may purchase such items, but I, too, get dirty looks or responses indicating I should immediately be able and willing to solve THEIR problems. I think I'm going to start directing them to my male colleague's office.

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  3. I still sometimes get asked for a stapler, even though I now receive all papers virtually. I've been asked for a pen or paper now and then, but I can't think of anything else.

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    1. A stapler? That's odd since the email programs always indicate attachments using a paper clip.

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    2. And one of these days, students will wonder what that funny little squiggly shape originally stood for. I'm waiting for the day when the 3.25" floppy disk has completely passed from memory, and they wonder what that icon means (I'd guess some of them now don't understand the origins, just the icon).

      Actually, I usually have a paper clip or two floating around the bottom of my backpack, without any effort on my part. They simply get loose and sink. I no longer carry a stapler (though I used to, when I accepted actual papers. Snowflake-enabling or not, it was easier than dealing with the loose sheets).

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    3. Not all of these requests come from students in my classes or people I know...

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    4. "I'm waiting for the day when the 3.25" floppy disk has completely passed from memory"

      Following the 5.25" floppy disk, which is already long forgotten

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    5. And the 8" or so one, which was only around for a very short time (and was very, very floppy, if I'm remembering correctly). They were used in the pay-per-hour wordprocessors available at my college in the late '80s, and are probably forgotten because many people never saw them in the first place. They looked a lot like those free sample records you used to get in the mail.

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    6. Jeez you people are old! Next thing you know, someone will bring up punched cards, or my favorite, paper tape. It went out right around the time of roller disco.

      Bitter experience over the years has taught me to bring to exams for my general-ed-science-class-heavily-populated-by-freshpersons an old copy-paper box containing two staplers, in case one fails, extra staples, a bag of extra pencils, at least two pencil sharpeners, extra calculators, and string and duct tape to attach the calculators to the front table so they don't wander off. It's darn near everything anyone could need, short of a motorman's helper (they'll need to leave the room for that, and they may not re-enter: it says on the instructions on the front cover of the exams, which of course they never read), and a chair, whip, and loaded pistol for me, for self defense.

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  4. This is why I keep my office door closed.

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  5. I get asked for a tissue all the time. I politely say, "No, I do not have one. But you are welcome to leave the classroom and get one."

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  6. I've been asked if I had a "spare umbrella".

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  7. I've come to accept that giving my office supplies with any faculty member who asks for them, goes with the job. And if the students ask nicely, and aren't asking for, like, my entire stock of pencils, sure, I'll share.

    Advil and Band-Aids are another matter altogether. No way am I going to be responsible for giving any pills to my students, or take responsibility for figuring out whether that cut they're asking for a Band-Aid for is really something that needs more than a Band-Aid. I send them to the security guard's desk down the hall. The guards have first-aid kits and are trained in their use.

    Do I like having to be such a hardass about it? Hell no. I'm a stage manager for community theater in my off-hours, and you'd better believe that any theater I work in will have a first-aid kit which anyone over the age of 18 can use their own judgment to deploy. But in a college, where everyone's parents are looking for a reason to sue the school and tell the media all about it, you just can't do that.

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  8. Today I had a student ask me (and keep in mind we have been in session for two full weeks) if I had a trash can in the classroom while he is extending his trash toward me. I pointed to GIANT green sign next to the door (which is where 99% of trashcans live in classrooms). Then he gave me an incredulous look, because he thought I was supposed to take said trash from him not make him throw it out himself. Same student got pissy last week when I would not answer his question but referred him to the syllabus to look up the answer for himself- clearly someone hasn't been expected to do much of anything for himself.

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    1. I'm surprised he even brought his trash forward. Most of my students just leave it under or on their desks when they leave the room.

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  9. It may be due to gender expectations, and for two reasons. Women are seen as nurturing and caring. They also carry a handbag, which usually contains tissues, pills, band-aids, feminine products (can't wait for someone to ask you for one of those), and the aforementioned crackers or other edible things.

    I tried to find a link to a song about what's "at the bottom of a woman's purse" that I heard once, but was unable to find it. It was by the same guy that did "The Man Song." Among the things in there were a can of mace and the heart of an ex-boyfriend.

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    1. If I carried a purse to class, I'd understand this, but I actually don't. I carry my laptop and textbook with me to class, period. That aside, I think they're also used to the women in their lives providing everything for them.

      I get peeved when it shows up on my teaching evals that I wasn't as effective of a professor as I could have been because I didn't cater to someone's tissue needs.

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    2. I actually did have a student ask me for a tampon once. To be fair, it was while I was a TA (so closer in age), and during a field trip to wherever during a summer abroad session (so extracurricular camaraderie was in effect to some extent), at a moment when we both happened to be in the bathroom at once. I cannot imagine a student mustering the courage to ask for something like that in front of a classroom.

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  10. It may be due to gender expectations, and for two reasons. Women are seen as nurturing and caring. They also carry a handbag, which usually contains tissues, pills, band-aids, feminine products (can't wait for someone to ask you for one of those), and the aforementioned crackers or other edible things.

    I tried to find a link to a song about what's "at the bottom of a woman's purse" that I heard once, but was unable to find it. It was by the same guy that did "The Man Song." Among the things in there were a can of mace and the heart of an ex-boyfriend.

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  11. I'm waiting for the moment a student asks for a kiss to make it all better.

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    1. That would violate the sexual harassment policy, I suspect. Or maybe only if you asked the student for the kiss?

      Maybe that's the solution: we should start asking them for stuff. Better let the tenured proffies (in institutions where there are no raises in the offing anyway) experiment with that one first.

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  12. I'm on blood thinners, so I carry Bandaids all of the time. Being a professor in the Fine Hamster department, I carry very colorful, fun Bandaids. The last time a male student asked me for a Bandaid for a teeny-weeny paper cut, I offered him one of my Hello Kitty ones. He then decided that the paper cut wasn't THAT bad.

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