Surly + Meetings = Rage

Dear Division Head, Please note that the start-of-year divisional meeting is not a venue for your personal comedy routine. Since you are only in your second year, you do not know any of your faculty members well enough to engage in jocular, ad hominem humor at their expense. Also, you seem to believe that the phrase “ex-wife” universally conjures bitterness, anger, and cartoonish visions of shrill harpies screeching across the sky. Does it not occur to you that those of us who are ex- and current wives or just, you know, female, might find your dark little asides just a wee bit insulting? We don’t care how funny and clever you think you are. We just want you to run meetings efficiently and keep a modicum of higher-level bullshit out of our corn flakes. We want you to complete an occasional sentence that isn’t so littered with “clever” puns and asides that its meaning is completely obscured. When we raise serious issues, we want thoughtful answers, not irrelevant quips. And for God’s sake, man, when your fucking lame attempts at humor waste so much time that we don't get through our agenda and have to come in the next day (a day of rest, a day of planning, a day of hangover recovery, a day that we have never before had to use for meetings), we want to string you up by your clever, clever tongue and scream at you to SHUT THE FUCK UP FOREVER. Surly out.