TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2009
It's Been Ages Since We Ran An Academic Haiku. Remember? "Short, Engimatic Free Verse About Academic Matters, Occasionally Referencing Margaritas?"
I had a student
in my intro class
last semester.
Freddie Flunky,
who had the lowest grade
in the class.
So he will take the course
with me again
next semester.
(He says he wouldn't
think of taking it
with anyone else!)
But it conflicts
with another class
so he can't attend.
"May I submit homework
and take exams
Maybe come to an office hour?"
"Freddie," I say.
"This is a student-centered college.
What do you think?"
the last part cracks me up, because that's how it plays out at my college all the time. and students realize it and use it like a fucking hammer against the faculty.
ReplyDeleteI teach math. I have students who come to my office and expect me to reteach an entire lesson to them because they missed a class. I ask, "Did you read the book? Did you get a copy of the lecture notes from a classmate?" The answer is always "No." They actually expect me to teach a 90 minute lesson for them in private. I refuse. I tell them I am happy to answer specific questions but that I only get paid to give the whole lesson one time. I ask, "If you bought a ticket to a Rolling Stones concert and you couldn't attend, would you track down Mick Jagger and demand a free show? No? Then why would you do this to me? I am the Mick Jagger of mathematics." They ask, "Who is Mick Jagger?" *sigh*
ReplyDeleteDarla is right. This punchline made me laugh so hard. Laughter--and before noon, at that. Thanks.
DeleteIt also reminds me of a few lines spoken by the Tom Hanks character in Big.
DeleteI put this in my syllabus - that lectures will not repeated. But that assumes students read the syllabus or paid attention on first day of class when I went over it.
DeleteNaughty, that is so funny and so right!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love the RYS archives...thanks to whoever put this up.
Short enigmatic free verse indeed!