Wednesday, August 21, 2013
On College Admissions Consultants
Dang it all, if this does not take helicopter parenting to a whole 'nother level!
Parents are hiring consultants---and paying them, at least around here, $50.00 dollars an hour. To do what?
Wait for it..... Help them register for their classes!
Dang it all if I did not have some crazy woman from a business with a name similar to this: "WeLoveSnowflakesRUs.com" call and call and call for her "client." I had no idea what this meant, or why she called me eight times between Friday and Monday to schedule an advising session for her snowflake....er....client, who had no idea which courses for which to register.
I was not on contract yet, and while I hate to be a bitch....well, actually I love to be a bitch. But hell, I was gonna be there anyway, what with this Acting Chair crap, and while advising is not strictly an Acting Chair duty, I figured, what the hell. I wanted to see what this was about.
I sent her an e-mail, half ironic, half sincere, inquiring whether her "client" would require special assistance in any way, and whether she would be accompanying him to his advising appointment. I received a reply back, which might have been huffy, assuring me her client was "a very smart gentleman" who just needed help navigating through the very confusing labyrinth of the registration process.
So, all sarcasm aside, I get it. It's a difficult process. But really? $50.00 an hour? We have a whole academic advising center where people are paid to help students through.....we have a whole separate counseling center where they do the same thing! And of course, students can and do, all on their own, e-mail their assigned faculty advisor. (I was not this particular student's faculty advisor, for what that is worth.) Not to mention the fact that we have an 'effin STUDENT HANDBOOK, for those who can read, which describes in detail the whole process.
See, I am old. My hard working immigrant parents did not know anything about the academic process. They proudly dropped me off at school and assumed I'd graduate in four years, as they had been promised by someone....or maybe they just assumed. I remember vividly being in the huge gymnasium that first fall semester with all the other freshman, a handbook in one hand, a course schedule in the other, and being told to look to my left, then look to my right-----only one of us, they said, of the three would survive this whole process by the end of four years.
Things sure have changed.
Anyway. The "client"----let's call him "Huge Piles of Help Harry"----never showed up for his appointment.
I received a note of apology from his agent.