Thursday, August 22, 2013

On horrific honorifics

It's good to be back in the land of misery, which at the moment consists of meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Yesterday's major mega-meeting offered up an interesting challenge: puzzling over the pattern in a certain senior administrator's inconsistent use of honorifics.

Personally, I don't care what the Big Kahuna calls me as long as my paycheck doesn't bounce, and I'm not sure why honorifics needed to be used at all in this instance. Why not just use names? We're all adults here! But if titles are used, they ought to be consistent.

The administrator in questions mentioned a number of employees both orally and in writing (on PowerPoint slides), but the usage was far from consistent. Employees who do not hold a Ph.D. were referred to as Mr. or Ms. OR by first and last names alone, while employees who hold a Ph.D. were referred to as either Dr. or Prof--and this is where it gets tricky.

First I thought he was using Dr. to refer to administrators and Prof. to refer to faculty, but no: he used Dr. for several faculty members (all male!) and Prof. for several administrators (all female--coincidence?).

He used Dr. for the only female member of the cabinet and also for male cabinet members and male professors--but female professors holding a Ph.D. were universally labelled Prof.

So here, as best as I can figure out, is the pattern: any male with a Ph.D. is Dr., and the sole woman on the cabinet is also Dr. (and perhaps therefore an honorary male), while any other woman with a Ph.D. is a Prof., even if she's an administrator.

Now that we've got that straightened out, will someone please remind me what century we're living in? 

14 comments:

  1. I've seen this on university lists of faculty. In my school's case, the big list was cobbled together from department lists, each one using honorifics determined by the individual department heads.

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  2. FWIW, When I am talking to a student I use "Dr." when the person has a Ph.D., Professor for faculty those who don't and Mr./Ms. for staff. We tend to call each other by first names, regardless of rank.

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  3. This year's employer is VERY particular about honorifics, as it is a place where the majority of faculty don't have doctorates. Anyone with a PhD is "Doctor," whether on the administrative side or not. "Professor" is never used for anyone as an honorific. I've noticed they are punctilious about it.

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  4. I can't believe you were even paying attention. Usually during meetings with administrators I zone out and have naughty thoughts about Benedict Cumberbatch. Or I imagine furnishing my tiny little beach house on Nantucket.

    If I were in a position where I actually HAD to listen to administrators, I would prepare myself with two stiff shots of vodka and a xanax.

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  5. Which century indeed, Zora. Our illustrious "President and CEO" refers to male administrators and professors by various honorifics and females, even on his cabinet, by NICKNAMES. That's right: it's "Mr. Douglas Dikstra" and "Lizzie." In front of an audience of faculty and staff. Guess which one has multiple graduate degrees.

    This dude also has yet to learn (after 3 years) how to pronounce the furrin last name of one of the female VPs. He actually tries, stumbles, and laughs about it in front of an audience.

    Durn uppity ethnic wimmin.

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  6. The only titles I want to hear from any senior administration are "My Lord," "Master," "My Lord and Master," "O mighty One," "O wise One," "O mighty and wise One," "Your estimableness," "Your braininess," ....

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  7. That is wack. Although inspired by the "We ask that you do not call us Professor" crowd, I'm making sure the students I TA use my first name.

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  8. Whenever I buy a plane ticket, I scroll through the honorifics to see what I'd like to be that particular day: Baron, Reverend, Captain, etc.

    You've given me a new game to play next month during our endless meetings.

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    1. Oh, I am so stealing these ideas.

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    2. British scroll-down lists of titles are particularly fun, since they almost have to include everything. You find viscounts, marquises, honourables, archbishops, etc., and there are so many of them that no once can really challenge you if you pick something odd. I have to admit to using regularly "Dr.", and just hope I don't end up in a "doctor on the plane" situation. I'm ready for a funeral oration or a nice elegy, however....

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  9. That's why I love visiting Germany, where all the paperwork says Herr Doktor Professor. Imagine that: Frau Doktor Professorin Zora!

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    1. ...and if you're a MD-PhD, you're Herr/Frau Doktor Doktor Professor...

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  10. My sister-in-law nurse told me once that doctors (MDs) pay more attention to messages if the name on them also has "Dr" on it. (even if a PhD and not an MD)

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  11. I was raised by two academics for whom the idea of using "Dr." was a horrifying breach of taste. So it's gotta be Professor or my first name (grads, honors students, and independent study students get to use the latter -- I'm only stuffy about it b/c students at the University of Generic Land Grant Universities will call female faculty by their first name at the drop of a hat, while reserving "Professor" or "Dr." for men).

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