- I'm secretly kind of glad when you don't turn something in, since that's something I don't have to grade.
- If I give you extra credit on something, it really doesn't matter in the end. I'll just make the next test harder.
- That page of careful, individual feedback that makes you feel so special is 85% stock comments I've been building up over the years that I copy and paste in. People always make the same mistakes when they're learning to do this stuff.
- I totally judge you by your grammar and spelling. Even if I say it doesn't count, it still affects how I receive your ideas, and thus, your grade.
- I can tell you the value of your work in about 90 seconds - maybe 2 minutes on a paper over 8 pages. Most of my grading time is spent justifying that to you in a way that you won't complain. Avoiding whining is a high priority.
- If you do a half-assed job, I take it personally.
- I order the papers by the pain they are likely to cause me. I know after the first two assignments who does work that ticks me off with its inanity, and I have to spread those throughout the stack so I don't take it out on the other students.
- If you do that thing where you fold the corners together instead of stapling your work, I resent you. You don't want me assigning grades when I resent you. You will pay, grasshopper.
- If, by some miracle, I let you turn something in late, I'm going to make you wait a long time to get your grade. I'm not going to go out of my way.
- I might take particularly inane things you write ("In our world today..." ) and share them with other proffies to make them laugh.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Dear students, your papers are graded by evil geniuses
It's Sunday, which means I've been up since 6 grading, and I have about 6-7 more hours to go just to get ready for this week. Wonder if my students know...