Just replace Bueller with Glenn, and that's how I imagine my professors sound as they repeat my name over and over again during roll call. And just like Ben Stein, they're sadly disappointed when I don't answer, because just like Ferris, I'm taking the day off.
However, unlike Ferris, my days off seem to be multiplying like a herd of horny rabbits. Additionally, when I play hooky, I don't convince all of UCF I'm on the verge of death, burst into song in a Chicago parade or convince my friend to steal his dad's Ferrari.
Lastly, my days off are fully justified because sometimes classes are just a plain waste of time. Actually, the fact that professors take attendance sort of contradicts the whole "You're a grown-up now!" spiel those peppy O-teamers spout at orientation. Aren't I responsible enough to decide whether or not I need to go to class? I mean, I must. After all, I'm already responsible enough to afford to pay hundreds of dollars to be enrolled in said class.
THE REST.
As to your question, the answer is no, no you are not.
ReplyDeleteIf you'd take ownership of your C-plus (or your D-minus, if you're not nearly as brilliant as you think you are), then fine. Do what you like.
ReplyDeleteWhy do they imagine that we are disappointed in their absence?
ReplyDeleteCollege students are grown ups. Just because you are a grown up doesn't mean that you are smart, mature or responsible. It just means that your mom and dad are not legally responsible for you.
In my experience attendance is used to know when to drop students from a course and can have an effect on financial aide which is why some universities require it.
ReplyDeleteI'm forced to take attendance on some level because of this-some students game the financial aid system and leave the college hanging. So your last date of attendance is important to the bean counters, should you take too many days off. Also, I haven't yet met the students that can "Ace" my exams without coming to class. And if you don't want to go to class DEAR GOD take an on-line course!
DeleteI stopped with the attendance after tenure. In my own experience people who don't attend much don't pass anyway. I concur that some schools have pretty stringent policies about attendance for financial aid, and that's the only reason I'd pay attention to it.
ReplyDeleteWhat annoys me, always, is when students think they understand our job or the mission of the colleges we work for.
I swear to God, I cannot pick up our student paper anymore. I suppose every school is like this, but there's an article like this in every one. Professors should, professors should not.
ReplyDeleteI never see one that says, "Hey, I think we should all go to class more often, and maybe study some, and put down the weed and do my bibliography."
I'd pay for a newspaper like that.
"You're an adult" doesn't mean you get to live your life deciding what you will or won't do; it means you take responsibility for the consequences of your actions.
ReplyDeleteI am only interested in lab attendance. If you miss lab, there is no make-up (unless you are traveling for some official school reason). I could tell by my exam grades today which students come to class daily.
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me that they don't seem to understand how fucking stupid they sound when they write shit like this.
ReplyDeleteBest. Labels. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI really hate taking attendance. That being said, the only way I'll do it is by passing an attendance sheet around for them to sign. But even then, they are usually too dumb/irresponsible to make sure they actually sign in. Weeks later, they try to come to me demanding to be reinstated and that they have a "witness" who will verify that they were there on the days they forgot to sign the attendance sheet. Tough shit.
ReplyDeleteHad a class once where people wanted to know why I even bothered with an attendance sheet and I told them that it was to help the college prevent "financial-aid fraud". So many of them got defensive at that comment.
Oh, and another thing. If I see people leave after the attendance sheet is passed around, then I make note of who left and mark them absent and just document on the attendance sheet that they left early. Perhaps I do this out of resentment as it is financial aid that somebody more worthy could use. I don't like my tax dollars being wasted any more than they or their parents do.
"But I was there!!! I just forgot to sign in!!" Oh, lordy!
DeleteMy new approach: I tell them that what I am recording is their following the instruction to sign in before the sheets are collected. It's on my syllabus that way. I don't call it an 'attendance' sheet; I CALL it a 'sign-in' sheet. Now the conversation goes:
them: "But I was there!!! I just forgot to sign in!!"
me: "Yeah, you WERE in class, that's true."
them: "So can I sign-in then?"
me: "No, it's a 'sign-in' sheet; it records whether you signed in on time, and you didn't, so you can't sign-in"
them: "But I was THERE!"
me: "So, I'll make an 'I was present in class' sheet that you can sign, but you still won't be able to sign the 'sign-in' sheet."
then: "Huh?"
me: [oh-so-innocent grin]
(But I DO cross them off when they leave early. Maybe I should call it the "signed-in-on-time-and-didn't-leave-early" sheet)
I do a quick headcount and signature count once the sheet comes back to me, and a quick scan for signatures like 'Mickey Mouse' (or more seriously an annoying trend to write in the signature box which follows the name "...is gay" or similar potentially harrassing statements).
DeleteHeadcounts too low, I ask once if they all had the chance to sign, then it's their problem.
Headcount too high (someone signed in an absent person, or has snuck out very early), and I make a Thing of it - stop class, explain the problem, call roll. Do not say anything at the name that isn't answered but after the roll is finished, I point out that we just wasted 5 minutes that they'd paid for (and gotten up and come to class for), and I really hope we won't need to do it again, but I am bound to do this every time the sheet is wrong.
Works pretty well, most of the time... (i.e. only needed once per class...)
I don't, thank god, teach in classes large enough to require a sign-in. Usually, after the third week, I know everyone's name and take attendance just by looking around the room. What do you do when you do get that harassing ". . . is gay" thing? I'd probably explode. I'm hypersensitive to that kind of bullying.
DeleteNever read the student paper. This is the message.
ReplyDelete"When you're able to ace tests without ever once attending a lecture, what does that say? That I'm a protégé? Not likely."
ReplyDeleteEither this is a delightful piece of satire, or the kid was trolled hard by his spellchecker.
I thought being able to report a "stopped attending" day was pretty much a requirement for all institutions that receive federal aid. Or maybe that's just what our registrar tells us.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, I don't think his professors are nearly as interested in his absence (or presence) as he imagines.
But perhaps one of them will read the column and explain to him the difference between a protege and a prodigy. Methinks he skipped a few days of high school English as well (or at least didn't do the reading).
he certainly isn't the protege of someone who knows how to get the best value out of college...
DeleteNormally I read these with a very forgiving eye, since I recognize that the students who write them are (a) not yet entirely familiar with the concept of audience (or, at times, the permanence of objects) and (b) working on a deadline and grasping at straws for something to talk about and (c) have as their models any number of self-absorbed blogs and Facebook postywalls, or whatever they have there. But this kid -- man, this kid. The arrogant self-absorbed tone: he has professors who talk for "two hours" about "nothing." I bet. Or maybe, they're talking about something, but you have no idea what it is, because they're referring to previous classes that you missed. The world does move when you're not around, you little shit.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes had twerps like him in my courses. Often, these people would whine, plead, beg, and otherwise grovel for an extra tutorial session. I usually agreed and gave up an hour or two of my free time during the week to run one.
ReplyDeleteGuess who seldom showed up, if at all?
Dear Student -
ReplyDeleteYou did see that the syllabus states four absences means you are dropped from the course, right? You don't remember that? Even though it was on the syllabus exam? Even though you answered the question correctly?
Gotcha.
Your Instructor
At LD3C, we are contractually obligated to take attendance to help the place keep on top of the massive federal financial aid dispensed to our students. I don't give a tea party if the students are in class, and I have nothing in my syllabus about missing class leading to automatically lowered grades. The truth is that if my students miss class, their grades will suffer through no action of mine.
ReplyDelete