|FACILIS DESCENSUS AVERNO|
"You don’t need libraries and research infrastructure and football teams and this insane race for status."
That's from a New York Times interview with Kevin Carey, author of The End of College, and envisioner of what he calls “The University of Everywhere.” I can't argue with Carey's point about football teams, and I'm rarely in favor of insane races for anything.
I do have an (apparently unfashionable) attachment to libraries and research infrastructure, but I'm loath to contradict the best writer on higher education in the country. What if the denouncers of academic expertise are right (albeit inconsistent)? All of the information we need is out there, available to everyone . Maybe we really are Borders in 2005, complacent and doomed, and the gumdrop unicorns are right.
So let's gird our loins, hop on the Surfboard of Progress and ride the disruption tsunami to that delicious information buffet that's out there for everyone  to enjoy!
The Open Source University of College Misery  can be our fallback plan when when we're all fired and replaced by software.
I'll start: Every university needs an English department, right?  Here is an article called How to Teach Literature to College Students.
Get a degree : No community college will let you teach English with less than a BA, and very few will let you teach with less than an MA. If you intend to teach at the university level, you will most likely require a PhD, as well as recent publication in respected journals.
Get a degree? What kind of retro old-school advice is that? When
Keep the class especially challenging for the first few weeks: Usually you will find a group of students will enroll for a class for no good reason. Because of this you tend to get slackers in class or people who are not intellectually cut out for such a subject.
...(NOTE: If your school receives state funding based on attendance, you might want to wait until the census date has passed before engaging in actions that will cause students to drop; your dean may cancel the class if a minimum number are not enrolled.)
Whoa, whoa, not so loud, WikiHow! Everyone  can hear you!
Additional tips include #10, Involve every single student ("Even the lazy students can usually provide some sort of input"), #11, Grade the thought, not the content (handy advice for when you're tired of pushing that basic-grammar-and-mechanics rock back up the hill). And finally,
Enjoy the experience: If you are heading to class and you are dreading it or feeling like you ought to just turn back and go home, it is time to reschedule the class or postpone it. If you are not giving a class 'your all', the students will notice and it affects the environment of the classroom. Also, the students will probably like you more for the extra couple of hours of time you've given to them.
"Sorry folks, class is cancelled. Just not feelin' it today. Why don't you all go Learn How to Write a Paper for College Literature Classes?"
 "Everyone" = "the young, Whites or Asians, the affluent, and the highly educated" [PDF from the Census Bureau, a bunch of government "experts."]
 Located in Oilmont, Montana, "The Pearl of Toole County."
 Hell, as they say, has two English departments. But we just need one.
 See 
(Graphic elements courtesy of freepik.com and paint.net)