Imagine my relief, then, to find that these Celebrations are just ordinary exams, with a friendlier name. And balloons.
The corporate world is way ahead of us on this naming thing, as usual. Thanks to the linguistic innovators in the Fortune 500's HR offices, blood-soaked, livelihood-destroying mass layoffs are now referred to "rightsizing" or "simplifying."
What unpleasant necessities of academic life might we profitably rebadge?
Plagiarism? How about extremely sincere flattery?
Fellow Miserians, what else ya got?