I'm going to pay a student to bring a baby to class so that I can cuddle it while lecturing. Is that a dirty diaper I smell? No! It's the campus teaching award (both are full of crap but one adds a line to my CV).
I dunno. If a student brings a sprog to your class, it must mean that the campus has no drop-in daycare facilities. Except now it does, and you're the director. As such, you are entitled to a budget and an administrative staff, and of course the lines on your CV appertaining therunto.
"He's not the greatest at explaining things, but he knows that. All of his tests are take home, and they aren't the extremely hard kind of take-home exams. If you need a couple of extra days after the due date for exams, he'll give them to you. He's an awesome guy, and he's definitely more of a mentor than a professor."
The teacher was correct to confiscate the baby. As we all learned in first grade, unless you bring enough for the whole class, then you don't get to keep the special treats all for yourself.
One day a student came in to class, quite harried-looking, with her 8 year-old daughter in tow. It was obvious, without anything being said, that something had gone awry for that day. I pulled out my laptop, plunked it down in front of the child (the classroom had long tables rather than single tablet chairs) put on the 'emergency animated movie' (that I used for my own kids when the situation demanded it), and gave her my large noise-canceling headphones to wear. For the next 90 minutes of lecturing the child was happy, the student was happy, and I then got head lice.
Speaking of O. Henry, something happened to one of my collaborators that calls to mind a bit of "The Ransom of Red Chief".
One of her colleagues brought a sprog to school because said sprog's gradeschool was closed for the day and babysitter fell through, etc. Collaborator, being a helpful sort, offered to let Sprogleigh chill in her office for a few hours while she got caught up on paperwork and Sprogleigh's mother did her three back-to-back classes. Sprogleigh had brought a book and all seemed well for five minutes until he was Not Really Interested in Reading Anymore and Don't You Have Anything Fun to Do Around Here.
Collaborator told Sprogleigh to wait right there in her office and not touch anything, and she'd go get something Really Cool for him to do. While she was grabbing a Lego Mindstorm kit from the robotics lab in the other wing of the building, the fire alarm sounded. She ran back to her office, through an apparent indoor rainstorm on the way, but Sprogleigh was not there!
Having spotted the kid heading into a restroom a few seconds after the alarm went off, another colleague had evacuated the building with him. After some panicked searching, Mother and Collaborator were reunited with Sprogleigh on the front lawn.
It seems that on his way to the toilet, Sprogleigh became curious about a fire sprinkler projecting from the hallway ceiling, so he decided to see if he could throw his book accurately enough to hit it.
Well, I had the emergency myself as the professor one day. My son (6-years-old) was not able to attend kindergarten, as he had been sick over the weekend. I just took him with me, bribed him with a comic book and the promise of ice cream after class, and all went well for most of the class. Then I saw him slowly creeping up front on all fours. Seems he was fascinated by the story of the wolf, the farmer, the cabbage, and the goat (little logic exercise) and wanted to know how the story ended.
I'm going to pay a student to bring a baby to class so that I can cuddle it while lecturing. Is that a dirty diaper I smell? No! It's the campus teaching award (both are full of crap but one adds a line to my CV).
ReplyDeleteI dunno. If a student brings a sprog to your class, it must mean that the campus has no drop-in daycare facilities. Except now it does, and you're the director. As such, you are entitled to a budget and an administrative staff, and of course the lines on your CV appertaining therunto.
DeleteAt the site that shall not be named, Darryn Willoughby, Professor in the Health Science department at Baylor University, Waco, TX:
Delete1 Student Ratings [sic]
5 HELPFULNESS, 3 CLARITY, 4 EASINESS
"He's not the greatest at explaining things, but he knows that. All of his tests are take home, and they aren't the extremely hard kind of take-home exams. If you need a couple of extra days after the due date for exams, he'll give them to you. He's an awesome guy, and he's definitely more of a mentor than a professor."
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe teacher was correct to confiscate the baby. As we all learned in first grade, unless you bring enough for the whole class, then you don't get to keep the special treats all for yourself.
DeleteI like this proposal. It's modest.
DeleteWell, I am Ogre, so...
Delete+1 for multiple interlocking literary references.
DeleteOne day a student came in to class, quite harried-looking, with her 8 year-old daughter in tow. It was obvious, without anything being said, that something had gone awry for that day. I pulled out my laptop, plunked it down in front of the child (the classroom had long tables rather than single tablet chairs) put on the 'emergency animated movie' (that I used for my own kids when the situation demanded it), and gave her my large noise-canceling headphones to wear. For the next 90 minutes of lecturing the child was happy, the student was happy, and I then got head lice.
ReplyDeleteAnd this one has an O Henry-eque ending.
DeleteSpeaking of O. Henry, something happened to one of my collaborators that calls to mind a bit of "The Ransom of Red Chief".
DeleteOne of her colleagues brought a sprog to school because said sprog's gradeschool was closed for the day and babysitter fell through, etc. Collaborator, being a helpful sort, offered to let Sprogleigh chill in her office for a few hours while she got caught up on paperwork and Sprogleigh's mother did her three back-to-back classes. Sprogleigh had brought a book and all seemed well for five minutes until he was Not Really Interested in Reading Anymore and Don't You Have Anything Fun to Do Around Here.
Collaborator told Sprogleigh to wait right there in her office and not touch anything, and she'd go get something Really Cool for him to do. While she was grabbing a Lego Mindstorm kit from the robotics lab in the other wing of the building, the fire alarm sounded. She ran back to her office, through an apparent indoor rainstorm on the way, but Sprogleigh was not there!
Having spotted the kid heading into a restroom a few seconds after the alarm went off, another colleague had evacuated the building with him. After some panicked searching, Mother and Collaborator were reunited with Sprogleigh on the front lawn.
It seems that on his way to the toilet, Sprogleigh became curious about a fire sprinkler projecting from the hallway ceiling, so he decided to see if he could throw his book accurately enough to hit it.
Well, I had the emergency myself as the professor one day. My son (6-years-old) was not able to attend kindergarten, as he had been sick over the weekend. I just took him with me, bribed him with a comic book and the promise of ice cream after class, and all went well for most of the class. Then I saw him slowly creeping up front on all fours. Seems he was fascinated by the story of the wolf, the farmer, the cabbage, and the goat (little logic exercise) and wanted to know how the story ended.
ReplyDeleteWell, don't leave US hanging. How did it end?
Delete