Thursday, September 8, 2016

Helpful Dean.

Because of a delay in getting access to a database for faculty, several people in my department were a day late with turning in "attendance verification" for this semester's class. All of my faculty have completed that task as of last night and then we get this email from the Dean:

"This verification is a state MANDATE. FAILURE TO COMPLETE IT TIMELY IS NOT ALLOWABLE.

I don't suppose YOU want to be responsible for students not receiving their financial aid."


14 comments:

  1. I've been getting panicked emails from students claiming that I haven't reported their attendance. We just got the email about reporting yesterday. We're two weeks into the semester and my classes meet once a week. It's a mess.

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    1. I am always alarmed at how common is the misery.

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    2. It doesn't make any sense. Johnny's financial aid gets pulled every day he misses a class? They're doling it out to him one day at a time? What happens in a section of 300? 6000?
      I suspect the "state mandate" is that institutions insure that Johnny is coming to class, not that Johnny is coming to class everyday. Shouldn't I be checking photo id's if this is a critical state mandate? If this process is so critical and consumes enough time we may be able to skip class altogether. Why not a simple, "Please report to the registrar's office any student who has not shown up to class in the first 2 weeks?"

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  2. Hmm. . .this doesn't seem to be a matter of particular concern around my place this year, though we've definitely gotten the usual emails about making sure that students who are attending are actually registered. That has to do with the state contribution (such as it is), which, as I understand it, is based on seats officially filled as of the end of the add/drop. The only official attendance reporting required is the "stopped attending" date for students who unofficially drop out over the course of the semester.

    But it sounds like there are other pressures in other places, and like this dean is feeling them keenly. That said, someone (preferably someone with tenure) needs to tell him (or her) that you don't talk to faculty -- particularly faculty who are doing their best to comply, despite difficulties -- that way. It's rude, it's likely to hit those at the bottom of the power hierarchy (contingent and/or recently hired) hardest, and, if anything, it's likely to actually decrease compliance with future requests.

    P.S. I'm also not sure I like the use of "timely" as an adverb, though a quick check of online dictionaries and examples suggests it's a long-established usage, perhaps especially in law. I guess I'm just more used to it as an adjective. That said, the dean does not strike me as a gifted writer.

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    1. Cassandra, I'm completely with you on "timely" as an adverb. The same goes for "likely": "The students will likely (= "probably") lose their financial aid." It just doesn't sound right, no matter what the dictionary says. I think that's because it's a comparatively recent development. Those of us with older ears find it grating.

      I'm a copyeditor by profession, and when I come across these things, it's all I can do to let them stand. If you ask me, they're just itching to be corrected.

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    2. I am hard pressed to think of a case where adverbial 'timely' sounds natural, but the example with adverbial 'likely' sounds just fine to me. It may be a dialectical thing.

      "Failure to timely complete it" sounds a bit less weird than the original construction; perhaps that's because of the famously split infinitive in "to boldly go where no man has gone before." And of course the "rule" to never split an infinitive is bullshit.

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    3. I slightly prefer "probably" to "likely" in that example, but both sound better to me than "timely" in the original letter. And I, too, like "failure to timely complete it" better than the original. I'm not sure what rules, if any, apply, but some adverbs seem to belong either before or after the relevant verb.

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    4. I agree with OPH that "likely" might be a regional or dialect thing; that's exactly what I think of when I hear it. But it seems to have made enough of an inroad into more standard speech that, as Cassandra says, even the dictionaries are now turning against us. I still think its natural habitat is adjective: "a likely story," "a likely (or even "unlikely") turn of events."

      "Timely" as as adverb definitely hasn't gotten there yet—although I dare say it will, eventually.

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    5. Adverbial "timely" will probably always stick n my ear and make me wonder if the utterer could have used "on time" or "promptly" to better effect.

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    6. Of course he could have. However, language changes over time, and I have no doubt that "timely" will find its acceptance as an adjective sooner or later. But you won't see me helping it along.

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    7. Sorry—I meant "as an adverb." And I call myself a copyeditor.

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  3. Dear Dean Fuckface,

    It appears that my colleagues and I have received a message intended for the party responsible for delaying our access to the database we need for submitting our attendance verification reports. I bring this up because of the liklihood that said party is now confused having received your message thanking them for doing the verification immediately upon gaining access to the database, as they would have done no such thing.

    For expediency, there's no need to craft a note of apology or explanation; simply sending us the correct email as-is will be quite sufficient.

    Best,
    OPH.

    CC: Dean Fuckface's Boss

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  4. We get this warning when grades are due. Our grades are due two days after the last exam is given. If they're not in, the Registrar sends us a note saying we are to blame for students not receiving scholarships, financial aid, or knowing whether they're eligible to continue on an athletic team. It almost makes me WANT to be late.

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    1. Do it.

      The generous 48-hour window to turn around grades for scores of students is more than enough and couldn't possibly be the problem. Oh, no, it's always those irresponsible, goldbricking faculty.

      Bloody hell. I've been under the bus more often than the mechanic who changes the oil.

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