Of course I can "catch you up to speed." You missed literally 5 hrs and 40 minutes worth of recitations (used your drops and got yourself a pair of undroppable goose-eggs), but I can certainly give you a 2 second version. It's only going to take 2 seconds. I have no idea why the other 742 suckers taking this course wasted the extra 5 hours 39 minutes and 58 seconds. Here you go :
I look forward to hearing your version of our meeting through the chairman's door (yay neighbors). It'll be cool when you're able to find her office in the next 8 minutes even though you couldn't find it for the last 4 weeks so you could discuss the "weird course that had a time but no room number" that was on your schedule. The schedule you took a picture of and saved in photoshop. Good thing you thought to do that, by the way, since all of a sudden today you randomly rechecked your schedule for no particular reason and suddenly noticed there was a room. I'm sure they JUST added that.
I'm sure the fact that exam 1 was last night is just another weird coincidence.
Oh, what hath helicopter parenting wrought. A generation of over-18-year-olds who are still children showing astonishingly profound stupidity cultivated by never having had to think for themselves on anything even as trivial as reading a schedule, as well as self-centeredness bordering on stupefecation---it simply does not occur to them that it simply would not be humanly possible for you to drop everything and provide a custom re-run of everything, just for them, if even a small fraction of the 742 other students in the course were to want this too, never mind the blatant unfairness of it, that’s what.ReplyDelete
Oh boy, does THAT look familiar! "When can I come by your office and go over what I missed?" That's less stupid than "Did I miss anything important in class?" But only just. In the latter case, I'm tempted to tell the student that he didn't miss anything of vital importance - we just told dirty jokes about his mother for the whole class period.ReplyDelete
Yo mama so dumb even her kids think nothing happens when they're not there to witness it.Delete
Let's be nice to the quantum physicists now.Delete
Let's be nice to the quantum physicists now.Delete
Yo mama so dumb she tried the Schrodinger's Cat experiment with her dog.Delete
Yo mama so fat that the wave function collapsed because she sat on it.Delete
Gentlemen, gentlemen! Quit making fun of black people by saying "yo mama." We'd like more of them to take up the sciences, and the desire is sincere, for the health of the sciences: whenever the people all are the same, they tend to think the same.Delete
I recognize that insulting someone's mother is a universal concept, and that what makes great art great is that it touches upon universal themes (and insults done thoughtfully and effectively are indeed art). Therefore, if you must insult anyone's mother (and who doesn't want to, whenever provoked sufficiently), keep it an Anglo-Saxon "YOUR mom."
Thy mother is so humourless that she did not so much as giggle at thy desire to be an academic.Delete
Not exactly great art, is this one? Watch the rebuttal Don Rickles gave when he was guest of honor at a Dean Martin celebrity roast: THAT was great art. ("Jerry, you have always annoyed me...")Delete
Besides, my Mom positively ENCOURAGED me to become an academic. It was partly because she never went to college herself.
By the way, "your mom" jokes rarely qualify as great art. They're much too easy, just like your mom. The lowest form of humor, which is the dead baby joke, never qualifies.Delete
Your mom---and I've seen a lot of moms, a lot of moms, believe me, good looking ones too, tremendously good looking, many tens or nines, or a good solid eight, which is pretty good when you think about it, solid eight or nine or ten, I know the best moms, the best moms---but they weren't moms yet, weren't wearing the mom jeans, didn't wear mom jeans not moms yet---now your mom---my mom, she was the best of course, she had me, gave birth to me, obviously the best mom, good genes, I got good genes, all the best genes from her, but she didn't wear the mom jeans---genes, they call them hornafoams, jeans, genes, because they sound alike, hornafoams, sound amazingly like each other, jeans---and I've seen pictures, pictures of way back when, photographs from when she was younger, before she married my dad, young girl, and she was the best, photos, the best, solid high nine, maybe mid ten, and if I'd been around then, and a lot of people are saying, believe me, a tremendous amount of people are saying if I'd been around I would have had a shot with her, I could have had a shot, bigly, if I'd been around back then, and I would have---believe me, I've been with an amazing amount of women, a lot of nines and tens, mostly tens but the occasional nine, I have a shot with them all---and your mom---a few of them, nines and tens, they put on the weight after they are moms, they put on the weight and they slip down, down to an eight, they slip down because they can't stay away from the snacks, keep putting away the snacks and blow up, gain a tremendous amount of weight, five, ten, fifteen pounds and they get older and I can't look at them, I can't look at them, so obese and old and I wonder what happened? What happened? She was a solid nine and I can't look at her, your mom, and she'd be lucky to have me, believe me, lucky, and I can't even look at her and she is lucky.Delete
MY mom, although a staunch, conservative Republican all her life, would without question have HATED Donald Trump. But then, she probably wouldn't have been much welcome in today's Republican party, since she was also a staunch supporter of gun control.Delete
Neither would my Dad, who proudly voted for Goldwater in '64. He was a high-school German and Spanish teacher, and so was an enthusiastic supporter of bilingual education.
OPH is a genius.Delete
I'm sure the fact that 742 other students knew which room to go to will totally corroborate Photoshopper's story of how the schedule lacked a room designation.ReplyDelete