If I had any drawing chops like Sam, I'd redraw this cartoon and add "COLLEGE" below "DUMPSTERS." I've had so many students with mental illnesses.... I have, at times, wondered if Allen Funt was watching me in the classroom. Sometimes I laugh about the students, sometimes I cry. I don't laugh at them or cry about them while I'm in the classroom, but I certainly have known asshole colleagues who have laughed at their students. And I respect some colleagues who have cried for various reasons in the classroom. Don't get on my fucking case and give me that self-righteous, higher-ground shit about mental illness not being a laughing matter. I don't need to hear any platitudes. This is serious shit. Some people are really fucked up. And it's just goddamn heart-breaking to see how devastated some students' lives are. And, likewise, it's just awful to see some of the monsters that have been produced by some strange mix of genes, abuse, trauma, and so on. My example from this most recent semester is both the former and the latter, and I can't think of a way to effectively anonymize it and share it, but let's just say it has really completely fucked with my head. And it's just sad.
{deep sigh}
Just... how can this world be so fucked up? How can people's minds get so tangled up?
{and another deep sigh}
Of course, I know not to care more about their education than they do. We all say that, right? But how many of us are lying to ourselves? Or maybe we believe it 99% of the time, but we occasionally let a student slip through the cracks and we end up actually giving more of a damn than they do because they just don't have the capacity to care for themselves and they seem incapable of even grasping what a good, stable conception of reality can be like.
{sigh, again}
Get over it, Bub, it's just a job, just spread your legs and take the cash.... Right?
And so I'm a whore and I accept this fact. And I am reminded that most sexual prostitutes in America could make a much better living working at McDonald's than turning tricks, but they turn tricks instead because they are driven by other demons.
So I acknowledge that I'm a whore and I am not fully aware of my inner demons. I wonder why I continue to be a professor when I could earn so much more money doing something else. What makes me give a goddamn? I have, at times, cared more for the john than he did for himself. And I don't know how to deal with that.
Q. What's the worst you can share?
A. __________
[If anybody knows the name/website of the cartoonist, could you please share a link? I don't know who it is.]
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ReplyDeleteLast post was deleted when I noticed typos.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure your definition of whoredom is one I would concur with in the case of those with psychological problems/difficulties/challenges, but I do agree that I have more students with psych problems than ever before, and I feel thoroughly unprepared to deal with them.
This year I had a student who rocked back and forth moaning in distress whenever he didn't understand a concept or was unable to process information. "Oh, he's just autistic," I was told by the DSS people. "You just have to snap him out of it," they said. I am not trained in 'snapping people out of rocking/moaning,' and when I asked how they suggested I do that, they said, "Oh, just clap your hands in front of his face, or make a loud noise like a whistle." This is NOT what I signed up for with college-level teaching. I don't mind making accommodations for people who need extra time on an exam, need a sign-language interpreter, or a note-taker who visits daily... but someone who rocks himself back and forth and moans out loud is disturbing to me and to all of the students around him. And he wasn't the only one.
I had a veteran with PTSD who refused to sit in certain desks because they just felt wrong. Another student had panic attacks and asked me daily if she could "walk off her fear" by pacing up and down the aisles of the classroom, and another student chewed on her hair (loudly and without stopping; what's that even called?). A final one spent two weeks of school in the psych ward (after having an episode in class that warranted my calling campus police).
These students with psych problems were ALL in one class. Most disturbing to me was that our Counseling Center was unwilling to talk with me about them (claiming client confidentiality, which is fine and all... I simply wanted to know how to monitor them because I have no training in this area.
When I said, "Well you don't have to tell me particulars, but could you give me some strategies to at least know when they're exhibiting dangerous behavior?" I was told, "Use your judgment." My judgment is usually confined to determining whether a thesis statement is appropriately-phrased... not whether someone is about to go ballistic on us in class.
Not only this, but these students often consumed so much of my time and energy in the class that other students simply didn't get the attention they deserved. The ADHD kids were MILD in comparison. I felt completely and inadequately prepared to teach on some days when the distractions were at their highest.
This is not to say that I think all people with psychological difficulties are dangerous, or are about to blow. But it sure felt more urgent this school year.
There's a technical term for the hair-chewing: Trichotillomania (yes, I googled, but it helps that I remembered that the term actually existed).
ReplyDeleteThe worst I've dealt with is some OCD that involved leaving the classroom ocassionally, and then coming back and reestablishing the sitting-down ritual. I did have a student go through a fairly complete mental breakdown over the course of a semester: one semester, great student; next semester, unkempt, rumors of substance abuse, assault, and increasingly bad work product finally resulting in total flakery on final project.
Oh that's brilliant--make loud noises to snap a student out of it when there's a soldier with PTSD in the room? Real smart there counseling services. Real smart. :/
ReplyDeleteI realized after I left that comment that I did something I really don't like. I recently described the ProfHacker comment threads as "Same old discussion. I do this. I do it the same, but differently. I feel the other way, but won't really address other views."
ReplyDeleteAnecdotes don't usually help unless they address the question, engage in discussion.
I've never dealt with classroom problems of the scale you're describing, but if counselling services is being unhelpful, and they are, and this is Standard Operating Procedure for them, and it sounds like it is, then I would say that there needs to be pressure applied from above or from elsewhere in the institution. Counselling Services is usually under something like a Dean of Students rather than Dean of Academics, but there's no reason you can't complain to both and see if you can't get them talking about these issues. I would also see if there's a relevant Faculty Senate committee -- if you've got that sort of self-governance -- that could problematize the issue and put pressure on the institution for more responsive policy.
Neither of those are short-term solutions, but my dominant response to classroom behavior issues is -- according to my evals -- to lecture them into soporific submission, and that doesn't work for more interesting people.
@Jonathan, thanks. I do need to follow up with all parties now that I have the energy and am not dealing with the poor dears.
ReplyDeleteOn most days, I feel pretty helpless and as if I have to care more than they do because they don't have the capacity to care more.
Isn't there something about our job (as a teacher) that automatically lends itself to caring more? Yes, we're dealing with adults, but they're still baby adults, for the most part. Does that obligate us to care more than we would if they were older adults? It seems that part of our jobs now is to MAKE them care for themselves because they haven't yet learned to care more.
@My Little Proffie: EXACTLY!!!
ReplyDelete@Jonathan: I have no problem with people sharing their experiences rather than providing solutions. I think for women, especially, just having someone share a similar experience helps, rather than needing a solid solution to a problem. :o) That said, I also appreciate your advice on what to do. It doesn't really help Southern Bubba, PhD., feel less whore-like, I'm sure.
Sometimes just sharing is useful, I agree. My complaint isn't with what happens here, where there's a balance between anecdote, mentoring, fun and brainstorming, so much as it is with the more top-down blogs like ProfHacker, where there isn't a community so much as an audience, and the "participation" is too shallow to amount to much most of the time.
ReplyDeleteOh, I guess I haven't followed ProfHacker. I'll need to review that. Gotta get back to grading where I spent more time caring than they do... as evidenced by their lack of anything resembling academic prose. :o)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't spend a lot of time at ProfHacker. It was an interesting blog when it was independent, but becoming part of the CHE site has mostly neutered it, and the comment threads I've seen, when I bother, are insubstantial. Some good stuff: my friend Konrad Lawson contributes substantive stuff now and then, but there's a lot of open-thread/what-do-you-think-of-this type filler posts.
ReplyDeleteHmm, sounds like a lot of what is in the "Professional Advice" section of the CHE, too.
ReplyDeleteBack to mental health. Anyone know what to do with the depression cases -- the ones who don't raise a finger for your class, get diagnosed with depression, and suddenly want an incomplete for a whole class's worth of work?
ReplyDeleteI am not unsympathetic, having suffered from severe depression for a decade (now in remission, thank god). But what I understand most deeply about depression is that it cost me a lot. There was loss. It was nobody's fault, not even mine, but the loss was part of the disease, and I never got back what I ruined. Is it unfair to feel like I should not be effectively re-teaching my class just so someone suffers no loss?
We have fairly clear rules about what constitutes an incomplete -- only a final assignment may be missing, officially -- which means that we're well within our rights to refuse to give one even if the student has a medical/disability issue. Students can retake classes, though, basically without penalty (aside from, as you note, the personal cost) when they're ready to actually do the work.
ReplyDeleteF&T, does your school have a Medical Withdrawal policy? Crappy Name U did, and several students who missed a semester's work used it to get refunds after they failed for lack of work (one even got it after she did the work...badly).
ReplyDeleteI feel that's a good thing to have at a school, but I agree with you about awarding an I with no work because of medical reasons.
Thanks for the validation. CC, it does help.
ReplyDeleteAnd I still would like to acknowledge the creator of the cartoon, but I don't know who it is.
ReplyDeleteBob Englehart, Hartford Courant.
ReplyDeleteFor those advising consultation with (or lighting a fire under) the college counseling center, a harsh reality -- many of them are being decimated by budget cuts, especially in the public sector.
ReplyDeleteA local CC let attrition wither it's in-house counseling staff and replaced it with a local agency known for hiring under/unqualified people. (Not sure how that's cheaper, but that's what they did.)
Adding even more fuel to this fire, local social service agencies often use the CC as a ersatz sheltered jobs program WITHOUT telling the CC. So, people with marginal academic abilities and serious social skills issues and/or mental illnesses are dropped off at the CC in the morning and picked up 5, 6, 8 hours later.
So you have people dealing with serious emotional issues being dumped at a place whose primary mission is education (not treatment) and generic "counselors" are supposed to hold them together.
Brave new world, folks ...
My college is always fearful of lawsuits, but yet they post recruiters right outside of the mental hospital.
ReplyDelete@ Contemplative Cynic
ReplyDeleteNext time your school needs to decide to make cuts, maybe somebody ought to nominate the counseling center. Sounds like a real idiot works there.
@EMH: our counseling center is down to ONE main counselor and two assistants who 'rate' who needs the services of that one counselor the most. It's pathetic how overworked that singe counselor is (he is available for a population of 2,000). But with the rise in students who NEED full time counseling, I think the college needs to make some kind of proclamation that students with psych problems seek regular counseling elsewhere and not ONLY rely on the services of the Counseling Center (like they would for any other recurring health problem).
ReplyDelete@ Contemplative Cynic
ReplyDeleteWow, my school has only one counselor as well. Sorry about my comment! At times like these, I have often wanted to start an "anonymous flier campaign". Perhaps post fliers that tell the students exactly what you said: "students with psych problems ought to seek regular counseling elsewhere and not ONLY rely on the services of the Counseling Center (like they would for any other recurring health problem)."
But then I would be worrying about whether or not someone spotted me putting up the fliers.
Anyone know what to do with the depression cases -- the ones who don't raise a finger for your class, get diagnosed with depression, and suddenly want an incomplete for a whole class's worth of work?
ReplyDeleteI had one of those this past spring. I spent the last third of the semester tutoring him, after he had bombed the midterm, but he still bombed the final. I felt awful for failing him, but I am a referee, not a deus ex machina.
I just got one TODAY: She has 8% in the class and claims this is because she suffers from depression. EIGHT PERCENT (there is no 0 missing there). She wants to know what she can do to pass the class. I responded with: "You need to take the course again next year." She then accused me of sending her into another spiral of depression. I'm sending her to our lonely Counselor instead.
ReplyDelete