Bucky From Bordertown is Stupefied.

My college's student rag has a cool little feature that I find many of us chuckle over each week. It's a series of funny or odd comments that have been overheard. They're often verging on scandalous, mildly wicked, and often quite college-specific. I know faculty who have used some of the "overheards" as writing prompts and discussion starters in all kinds of classes.

Well, last week one of the people on the paper revealed herself to me in my office - not like that. We were talking about the feature and she said, "Oh, you know we just make those up. They aren't real. Did you think that?"

I admit I sat there dumbfounded. Made up? Why, I wanted to know? Were the editors all future comedy-wags, and they figured they could improve upon reality?

"No," my student said. "It's just too hard to go out and overhear things."

Here are a few gems that I thought were really overheard, but are not. I now no longer like working here.

[+]

Student in the dining hall: "You know who my ho is? Cocaine..."

Student on a cell phone: "I'm an architecture student, of course an iPhone 5 is a ‘necessary school item’, Dad. Unfreeze my shit!"

Written on bathroom wall: "god is dead--nietze." And "NIETZE IS DEAD--GOD."

Male Student: "She’s very hot, in a New Canaan way." {Pause.} "I love making Connecticut-based jokes."

Philosophy student: "I was trying to do the nihilist thing, but it’s pretty hard."