Thursday, June 20, 2013

Professor Peterson from Phoenix Gets His Interview at the Worst Community College In America.

So, I've been at "Lost Hope in the Desert Community College," the worst community college in America for 3 years as a part-timer. I never had luck getting a tenure track job anywhere, and I've bounced around for the past 10 years - since the PhD - doing one year posts and the such.

But I hunkered down for the past three years and taught 2-3 classes every semester at one place. I went to optional meetings, I acted on committees. I got to know the few full timers (80% of our classes are taught by folks like me.) I've been a good soldier. But I didn't expect special treatment.

I had forgotten I applied to this job, actually. One is always open on the regular stream, and in September I dutifully do my paperwork. I've never gotten an interview before, and 3 people have been hired in past years, none with PhDs, all from the BIG local university. (That's not me.)

Anyway, yesterday my phone rings at home and here's the conversation:

"Is this Pettermell?"

"Uh, what?"

"Is there a Mr. Peppermen there?"

"I'm Dr. Peterson, can I help you?"

"We'd like to interview you for the job at 9:25 am on Tuesday."

"Okay, what job? Where are you calling from?"

"At the community college."

"You mean 'Lost Hope in the Desert?'"

"Yes, the time has been arranged."

"Okay, but I'm teaching at that day and time."

"Oh, where do you teach?"

"Well, I teach at 'Lost Hope.' I've been there for three years."

"This is the time you've been given."

"Can I reschedule?"

"No, there are no times available."

"Should I cancel my class? Is that what you're asking?"

"I don't know Mr. Pemmerman."

"Well, can you find out if I can make another time. It's a short summer session and I hate to cancel a class. I'm sure the committee will understand. Can you tell me who's on the committee?"

"It's a committee of faculty members."

"Yes, I'm sure of it. But could you at least ask them about switching times so I don't have to cancel my class? I can do it anytime on Tuesday between 10:30 am and 6 pm, or Wednesday ANY time all day."

Then this morning I got this email:

"Mr. Pettersun. We have confirmed your interview for 9L20 on Tuesday."

19 comments:

  1. I am 99% sure this is how notification calls from my college go out.

    Cancel the class! Take the interview. If you want the job, give the chat your best shot! Good luck, Pemmerhill!

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  2. I never knew my boss could be on two continents* at the same time.....

    Anyway, good luck with it!

    *incontinent, however, is highly likely

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  3. Hey, Peggersmith, are you sure you WANT a job there? Good grief. The level of unprofessionalism in that whole exchange is remarkable!

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  4. It sounds like they've got a student doing office work. I fear to think that was the best-qualified applicant for the job.

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  5. Your Human Resources Office inaction! Good luck, Dr. Peterschmidt.

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  6. There is such beauty in how the 9:25 time became 9L20.

    Jesus, life is art.

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  7. Does anybody in that place know what they're doing? It's like the bank robbery scene in Woody Allen's movie "Take the Money and Run" or maybe Abbott and Costello's "Who's On First?" sketch.

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  8. Annoyances like this are easier to deal with when you have a permanent position. Cancel your class, go to the interview and kick ass. Good luck, Dr. Teperschmidt.

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  9. Am I the only one wondering how the old SNL Land Shark got a job in HR? Just me? Okay, then.

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  10. I can't wait to hear how the interview goes. I dare you to answer the phone, "Hello, Dr. Pepperdick here."

    Go ahead. You're not going to lose anything!

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  11. I lost my hope in the pudding, myself.

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  12. Let's hear it for Human Resources: "Where 'people' is just another word for something we can use!"

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  13. Good luck, Dr. Pumper Nickel.

    And cancel all your classes. It sounds like no one will notice.

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  14. Send them to the library or something and good luck, Pfefferstein.

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  15. Online research assignment!! Takes the place of class, right?

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  16. Reminds me of a community college interview I had around twenty years ago at a school I had taught at for around three years. At the last possible minute, they phoned me and told me I was to be interviewed at 9:45 p.m. tomorrow. That's right: at night. The phone call came at 10:00 the night before, so there was no time to prepare. (Not that it would have made much difference, as it was generally believed--and turned out to be true--that one specific candidate was already selected for the position and these interviews were merely a formality.) I could cut them some slack because they had busy schedules, but it was a bit strange.

    In your case, it's a no-brainer: they've given you no choice but to cancel class with their blessing. Think of it this way: if you get the job, it will be worth it (assuming you want or need it), and if you don't, at least you tried.

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  17. Reminds me of a community college interview I had around twenty years ago at a school I had taught at for around three years. At the last possible minute, they phoned me and told me I was to be interviewed at 9:45 p.m. tomorrow. That's right: at night. The phone call came at 10:00 the night before, so there was no time to prepare. (Not that it would have made much difference, as it was generally believed--and turned out to be true--that one specific candidate was already selected for the position and these interviews were merely a formality.) I could cut them some slack because they had busy schedules, but it was a bit strange.

    In your case, it's a no-brainer: they've given you no choice but to cancel class with their blessing. Think of it this way: if you get the job, it will be worth it (assuming you want or need it), and if you don't, at least you tried.

    ReplyDelete

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