I am teaching an upper-division course in string macrame, during the course of which both my (takes-no-nonsense, takes-no-prisoners) teaching assistant and I have been in trouble with the chair of the macrame department for being too tough. So, when a student (whom I would have sworn I had never seen before) asked to turn in a paper two weeks late, I said I would read it. Mysterious student thanked me and said she would email the thing to me that afternoon
Three days later, the paper, clearly cobbled together in the intervening time, arrived in my email box accompanied by a strange note:
Unfortunately, I find this topic of string macrame studies and string behavior rather traumatizing and endlessly frustrating. ... it makes it particularly hard to learn about such things when I become depressed and non-functional afterward.
I've been teaching for what seems like centuries, and this sort of statement still stymies me. For one thing, the course in string macrame is not required. It fulfills a requirement, true, but so do many other courses. Right in the macrame department, there are courses in sisal macrame and wire macrame that fulfill the same requirement, and there are also courses outside the department, such as the ones in acrylic crochet and hair shirt knitting.
Second, the subject is not one in which most people have a lot of emotional involvement, and that's particularly true of the way I teach it, which tends towards dryly intellectual analysis, rather than passionate advocacy, of string.
I have no idea what to say to this student. "Don't sign up for courses on subjects that depress you"? "It would be a good idea to talk to a professional counselor about your problems with string"?
Is there anything one can say?
Give the student a brochure advertising the next conference of the National Association for String Macrame. Tell the student that millions of people around the world love string macrame. Suggest that the student go to the conference. Remind the student that string macrame is the one true love of your life. Try like hell to convince the student that string macrame is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteOr... just tell the student to go fuck herself.
"Or... just tell the student to go fuck herself."
ReplyDeleteAfter assigning an F on the paper that is now 2 weeks + 3 days late...
"Dear Sensitive Student,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear it. D."
"Dear Sensitive Student, I'm sorry to hear that you have encountered this difficulty. I'd like to remind you that there are services available to assist you (Learning Needs + Psych Services) at this difficult time. If you need special assistance through these offices, please let me know. D."
ReplyDeleteI specifically tell my students that any difficulties, particularly for scheduling labs, need to be worked out in the beginning of the term. If they can't fit the labs for my course into their schedule, or if they have any other problem with my course that can't be solved early in the semester, I tell them that I think it would be better for everyone involved if they would drop the course. If they need me to sign anything, I'll do it.
ReplyDeleteBut then, my courses fill up. It would be different if I had higher-ups sternly telling me that I need to increase enrollment.
I believe she's speaking in a code I know, or at least a variant of one I know. Deciphered, it means, "I am unable or unwilling to meet the intellectual demands of this course. I was hoping for a skein of fuzzy yarn which would envelop me nurturingly and place no demands on me except to suck the warming mother's milk of endless validation and to discuss my feelings of enwrapment. I did not perceive the numerous cues in the catalogue that this course demands 'dry[] intellectual analysis'; I was similarly oblivious to the requirements that I know the components and history of string and the techniques of macrame and that I produce a macrame artifact capable of being worn or carrying items. I have similar moments of crisis in at least three quarters of my courses, as my goal is to escape college with minimum, if any, stress on my neurons."
ReplyDeleteThe correct response is in similar code: "Students who encounter difficulties in a course often benefit from tutoring at the Macrame Lab in Queen Mary II Hall. They also can take advantage of time management and other workshops at the counseling center in Maslow Rotunda. However, most find it productive to seek this help toward the beginning of the semester."
My thoughts were along the same lines as Black Dog's: point the student toward appropriate sources of help, in case she has genuine psychological and/or learning problems that she is struggling to describe/admit (both as a way to offer help she may need, provided by people better-qualified than you, and to protect yourself should further complaints or other trouble ensue).
ReplyDeleteThen grade the paper fairly, and in accordance with your announced lateness and other policies. Even students in crisis need to decide whether they can realistically finish the class, and, if not, drop. A realistic grade on the paper might help with that process.
I won't even look at papers that are two weeks late, as late papers are graded downward one letter grade per calendar day.
ReplyDeleteBut if the student finds the nature of the work itself causes them to become "depressed and non-functional," I would suggest very strongly to them that they see a counselor, and a doctor.
Then, very sweetly, "if you have some sort of medical or psychiatric condition that can be accommodated by the university, you need to make sure that you receive those accommodations as soon as possible."
Yes, one can say "I hope this F is not going to make you too much more depressed." I agree with Joe. What a load of crap. I suffer from depression myself and too many days it takes every bit of willpower to get up out of bed and get to class. I always complete assignments on time and not one of my Professors in five years, have ever known about my illness; it really isn't their problem. The last thing I would ever want is one of them to feel sorry for me or ever feel that they should make concessions. When I get a 98 I know I earned it; it was not a "mercy" mark. When I get a 75...oh well, @%$# happens. Maybe an F will make the depressed student get help.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Black Dog. Respond, then grade appropriately.
ReplyDeleteIf this student needs help, hopefully she will seek it.
Is she just saying she's too dumb to understand WTF you're saying in class? Perhaps a simple: "I'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time meeting the demands of this course. Multiple resources on campus are available for you to seek tutoring and/or counseling. I, too, find it tedious to extend my professorial duties to those of counseling students who sign up for courses too difficult for their psyche and/or capabilities. This leaves me depressed and non-functional. See you in class."
ReplyDelete"I, too, find it tedious to extend my professorial duties to those of counseling students who sign up for courses too difficult for their psyche and/or capabilities. This leaves me depressed and non-functional. See you in class."
ReplyDeleteI actually say this nearly verbatim IRL, because it is true (although I wish it were not).