Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Real Goddamned Mail.

I always thought the "real goddamned mail" posts were hyperbole, wondrous exaggerations. No more. My first collection:

  • Two things about your new header. It's too dark. And a child's pain is never something to celebrate or mock.
  • I posted "Xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx" the other day and it only got 1 comment. I think it's a very important topic, and I was wondering if it's okay that I post it again until I get some good feedback.
  • i know its against the god-forfended rules to bitch about people in the comments, but i wish you'd send this note along privately to Xxxxxxxx. "Ps, you're a douche. 100 proof douche."
  • Why don't you organize all of this? It seems to me that it's just a big list of posts with no rhyme or reason. I don't even know where to start.
  • I'm sick to death of 9/11 stories, how everyone was so impacted. I lived in NYC at the time. I was impacted. Droning and twee proffies in Ohio and Arkansas who watched it on CNN don't know shit about it, and they have co-opted the experience for themselves as if they knew anything. I guarantee you that the same people could write overlong and dull remembrances of Katrina because Anderson Cooper told them about it. You all have minimized the entire event as yet more "LOOK AT ME" pseudo journalistic trash.
  • Whatever happened to (fill in some previous poster)? He/she was the only one worth a shit on your page.
  • Whatever happened to (fill in some previous poster)? You probably banned him/her because he/she gave you too much to think about.
  • I used to love this page, but it's so incredibly boring. Why don't you exert some influence and bring it back?
  • Could you lighten your grip on things? Everytime something  good gets going in comments, you post some idiotic new post about the most inane matters. You're killing the page..
  • Who's Presto?
  • Where's Fab?
  • I'm glad that Fab's gone. The page has run much more smoothly since he left.
  • I wish you'd let Fab run the page again. The whole site has gone off the rails since he left.
  • You always give the same people Post of the Week. I respect your right to pick the ones written by your friends, but you should make it available to anyone. I'm surprised you don't give it to your own posts!


Some previous RGM features:


  1. I would read RGM. Every. Single. Day.

  2. Where IS Fab, by the way?

    And, where is Leslie K???

  3. Our friend, Yaro,
    clearly has,
    too much time,
    on his hands.

  4. Especially if it's your kid. With a loser like you as a parent, I think she's suffered enough.

    Here's a second comment: You're a jerkface.

    I can only hope that this was directed at me. Look, dumbass, 100 proof is only 50%. Didn't you learn anything in college?

    At the beginning.

    Dude, you're completely nuts. Nobody watches Anderson Cooper.


    Thinking that somebody's an idiot doesn't really count as "thinking."

    Then why don't you marry it?

    Yeah, but it keeps coming back.

    This is Presto.

    He took all the money he made from CM and wouldn't share it. Last I heard, he started Collage Misery, a spin-off site devoted to his favorite hobby.

    Things are smoother because we are all worn down by now.

    On a Crazy Train!

    Then who would be my friend?

  5. Ah, autumn emails
    pompous young profflakes show
    gaudy fall colours

  6. I didn't get the POW joke until I read the thing twice...


  7. Last I heard, he started Collage Misery, a spin-off site devoted to his favorite hobby.

    That has to be the funniest goddamned thing I've read in months.

  8. This reads like the comments on my teaching evaluations last semester.

  9. @Gordon: Why did you have to publish every single email I sent you? No fair.

  10. @Harpy: I was thinking exactly that, and it seems to raise the same question, and prove the same point: (1) are these people all reading the same blog? and (2) you can't please all of the people all of the time (so you might as well not try, especially if you're running a blog that people are perfectly free to ignore, compete with by setting up their own blog, etc., etc.)

  11. Beaker Ben, you're brilliant.

    Gordon, you've outdone yourself not only with the P.O.W. but with the Amazon ads. The K-Y Jelly I get, but Soylent Green? I can only surmise that there's a fantasy involved about the Real Goddamned Emailers.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.