Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A F*** You Haiku!

Fuck you haiku!   
Last day of class, EMH
When is it?
I don't know.  Check the syllabus.
I know it's there.

No wait!  Don't teach stuff right now!
I wanna know when our final is!
I don't know.  It's in the syllabus.

How come you don't know?
Sorry, I just don't right off hand.

Snowflakes come and go.
Some stay.  Like windshield during blizzard.
Some stop being snowflakes,
they may go on to advanced studies.
Some may go on to advanced studies,
and remain as snowflakes
just like Reverend Doctor.

But then there's also Pastor Gates.
Doctor of Divinity, but big dipshit.
You make the church look bad.
Lead sick man through sinner's prayer
But then told him that he would go to hell
for continuing to take his psych meds.

The man stopped taking his meds
and became psychotic.
Did the church ban together to love on him?
Did they take up a collection so he could
get medical attention?
No way!
They banned him from the church.
They thought he was filled with demons.

Jesus doesn't work this way, so why do you 
want people to think he's like this?
All I can say is remember the parable of the
sheep and goats.  He was sick and you drove him away.

Jeff came over the other day.
No! No! EMH there's nothing wrong with you!
I don't care what the doctor says, you are a
creation in Christ so that makes all the doctors wrong.
Doctor's don't know anything.  If you believe in Christ,
you will see that there's nothing wrong with you.

Well Jeff, being an ex-marine what do you have to say
about those who are wounded on the battlefield?
Being a former police officer, what do you have to say
about all the 911 calls you had to respond to?

My neighbor lost his battle to cancer last week. 
I dare you to go over to his house and tell his wife that
there was nothing wrong with him.

Rest in peace Mark!


  1. RIP Mark, indeed. EMH, don't take this the wrong way, but if the Christians with whom you're currently in contact are telling people not to take their meds or otherwise consult or follow doctors' advice (not to mention making threats about past associates' tendencies toward violence), you might want to consider seeking out another group of Christians with whom to hang out. I've known some Christian Scientists whom I quite liked personally, but I think I'm going to stick with my own church's take on all this: that God works *through* doctors and those who search for better medications (and preferably don't then make an unholy profit off of them) and first responders and, yes, pastors and parishioners who care for each other (including urging each other to seek appropriate expert medical/psychiatric help when appropriate). That's what that whole business about our being Christ's body in the world is about. From what I've seen, a both/and approach to doctors and other professionals and spiritual help works much better than either/or, and it's the preferred approach of the vast majority of Christian denominations (and non-denominational congregations) in this country.

    And yes, your students need to RTFS. Mine, too; they always seem surprised that I don't have due dates in my head, but with 4 sections on three different schedules, I don't. The syllabus (and the notes I've transferred from it to my personal calendar) is there to keep me on track, too.

  2. I agree with Cassandra on all points--God works through doctors. I am sorry to hear about your neighbor....it seems like cancer is really on the rise lately.

    And I'm glad to hear I am not the only one who does not know the syllabus dates off the top of my head!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.