Thursday, November 17, 2011

Please, Pass Your Eyes Over This Quickly. Don't Dwell On It. Don't Mention It. Don't Even THINK About Emailing Us About It. Let It In. Let It Go.

New mod. No name.




15 comments:

  1. Wait, people chased off Wilhelm in less than a week?

    For SHAME, Miserians!! FOR SHAME!!!

    (maybe the people we bitch about should be us?!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Screw you guys. You can't tell me what to do. By God, I WILL think about emailing you.

    So there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nobody scares The Wilhelm. The Wilhelm never uses question marks or periods. Only exclamation points.

    But the workload was greater than he understood, and he quickly realized he didn't like NOT being a regular member of the page.

    Plus, the compound is poorly lit, full of bones, and not everyone can live there comfortably. We gave him the newest room in building D, but it's drafty and the coyotes howl over the hill there outside Oxford, Ohio all night long.

    There was a problem with getting him the right tea bags. There was a concern about Walt's all night target practice. Compound Cash - it is alleged - even stole some of Wilhelm's weed the first night he was here.

    The Tivo is set up to record only MMA and porn. The remote's been lost for months.

    And, of course, there is the man who stands by the compound gate and spits on you when you drive out for supplies.

    But we love The Wilhelm. He is among you again now.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Dear New No-Name Moderator,

    I would like you to ban Xxxxxxxxxx because he's a Xxxxxxxx. And what's up with that Xxxxxxxxx? It's getting to be a little too Xxxxxxxxxx in here for me.

    I mean c'mon. If we can't Xxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxx, what can we Xxxxxxxxx.

    And don't get me started about Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. That Xxxxxx is a Xxxxxxxxxx, Xxxxxxxxxxxx, Xxxxxxxxxxx Xxx.

    Thank you for your time.

    Cordially,
    Xxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Cal,

    Your comment made me utter some very unprofessional noises that fall somewhere between laughing and cackling. Thank you.

    (And curse Cash for stealing his weed. Uncool dude.)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear New Moderator: I don't think we follow instructions very well, but as long as you keep posting real-goddamn-mail, I'm your favorite fan!

    ReplyDelete
  8. we go thru mods like the republicans go thru front runners...

    ReplyDelete
  9. To all the mods, past present and future, named or he/she-who-shall-not-be-named:

    XOXOXO

    for putting up with all of this crap.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Welcome, whoever you are. Can I send you email to ask if I can send you email?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Maybe this mod will finally fix the background. And remove people who annoy me. And then go to their house and bitch-slap them. And also make it so that when I scroll through the page it goes at a speed of 2.3km/hour, except for when I am scrolling in the evening when I'm tired, then it should measure my level of alertness and slow down considerably unless I am about to drink some coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Why isn't this done yet? It's been over a minute. Are you angry at me? I know you're out to get me and that's why you ignore me, isn't it? I hate you. I'm leaving. I'm going to come back in two days and pretend nothing happened and restart the cycle-of-whining.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hereby name him/her No-name, so no-name has a name, and it is No- name!

    ReplyDelete

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