Amelia Eats Out

So our churrascaria visit was this week. The proffie wrote an internal grant to pay for a minibus to drive us all into Capitol City to visit the place, which was locally owned and very nice. We also all got $15 towards our meals. If you just wanted the cold buffet, this was enough, but if you wanted to try the meats, you had to put in $10. The proffie even got the owner to come and talk about the restaurant he owned in Brazil vs. the one he now runs here and to talk about how the food was prepared. Great stuff. What was not so great was a trip with undergrads. To wit:

Beyonce and Adele: Two girls in the class who are in campus acapella groups. I'm just a guest student at this university (a swishy, private one), but I am gathering that there must be at least 7000 groups on their campus, to hear them talk. I actually don't mind acapella groups. What I do mind is a 45-minute streak of musical one-upswomanship where they are ostensibly talking about songs they like performing. Really, they are just trying to impress each other (and us poor non-musical slobs, I guess) with their obvious Diva talents, singing at each other for most of the trip. You can't be my halo, and if you want to swing from the chandelier, please do it in the next room.

Lactose Larry: So, I see that the lactose intolerance thing is new for you, Larry. And yes, I am familiar. No, I really don't need to hear a description of what will go on in your gut if but a single drop of milk should pass your lips. No, I don't think the pork chop on a stick has dairy in it. No, I don't think the waiter is lying. No, I doubt they will let you into the kitchen to check on how your meal is being prepared.

Sara Cirrhosis: Honey, when you are 19 years old, and you spend the entire trip and most of dinner discussing how you know the nightly specials at every bar in town, and which one has this awesome Bucket o Booze Tuesday where they give you a YUGE glass filled completely with liquor on special on Ladies' Night, you probably have a problem. Also, no one else seems to be finding this interesting either. I noticed Adele did not jump at the invitation to come with you next week...

Keener Kenzie: When the very busy owner comes out just to talk to our class, it is not the time to ask the proffie if you need to take notes because it will be on the final. Don't complain about the man's "Impossible" accent. You are in a Portuguese class! Also, moving the table candle to your place so you can see as you write is both obnoxious and a fire risk. Don't snarl at me when I move it back so pork chop man doesn't set his frilly sleeve on fire.

Cheap Charlie: Yes, we all need to put in $3 to tip the wait staff. That's what human beings do in America. You can't claim extreme poverty with one breath and go to the bar and order a $10 Caipiriha with the next.