Monday, April 11, 2016

Amelia Eats Out

So our churrascaria visit was this week. The proffie wrote an internal grant to pay for a minibus to drive us all into Capitol City to visit the place, which was locally owned and very nice. We also all got $15 towards our meals. If you just wanted the cold buffet, this was enough, but if you wanted to try the meats, you had to put in $10. The proffie even got the owner to come and talk about the restaurant he owned in Brazil vs. the one he now runs here and to talk about how the food was prepared. Great stuff. What was not so great was a trip with undergrads. To wit:

Beyonce and Adele: Two girls in the class who are in campus acapella groups. I'm just a guest student at this university (a swishy, private one), but I am gathering that there must be at least 7000 groups on their campus, to hear them talk. I actually don't mind acapella groups. What I do mind is a 45-minute streak of musical one-upswomanship where they are ostensibly talking about songs they like performing. Really, they are just trying to impress each other (and us poor non-musical slobs, I guess) with their obvious Diva talents, singing at each other for most of the trip. You can't be my halo, and if you want to swing from the chandelier, please do it in the next room.

Lactose Larry:
So, I see that the lactose intolerance thing is new for you, Larry. And yes, I am familiar. No, I really don't need to hear a description of what will go on in your gut if but a single drop of milk should pass your lips. No, I don't think the pork chop on a stick has dairy in it. No, I don't think the waiter is lying. No, I doubt they will let you into the kitchen to check on how your meal is being prepared.

Sara Cirrhosis: Honey, when you are 19 years old, and you spend the entire trip and most of dinner discussing how you know the nightly specials at every bar in town, and which one has this awesome Bucket o Booze Tuesday where they give you a YUGE glass filled completely with liquor on special on Ladies' Night, you probably have a problem. Also, no one else seems to be finding this interesting either. I noticed Adele did not jump at the invitation to come with you next week...

Keener Kenzie: When the very busy owner comes out just to talk to our class, it is not the time to ask the proffie if you need to take notes because it will be on the final. Don't complain about the man's "Impossible" accent. You are in a Portuguese class! Also, moving the table candle to your place so you can see as you write is both obnoxious and a fire risk. Don't snarl at me when I move it back so pork chop man doesn't set his frilly sleeve on fire.

Cheap Charlie:
Yes, we all need to put in $3 to tip the wait staff. That's what human beings do in America. You can't claim extreme poverty with one breath and go to the bar and order a $10 Caipiriha with the next.

10 comments:

  1. Yes, I know there were formatting irregularities on this post when it first went up. It was only up for about 20 minutes before I was able to address it. I'm trying to edit the page just once a day, so this problem might arise again and not be solved as quickly as some might like.

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    1. Regarding timetables for fixing things, I think the person(s) whose preferences matter most are those who are doing the actual fixing. Thanks for all you do.

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    2. I'm tempted to link to the "grammar jerks" post from last week, since complaining about the formatting of the page strikes me as a subset of the same larger phenomenon, but I think I'll just stick with:

      Please, folks, don't let the (imagined) perfect be the enemy of the good. It's working for us (most of us, anyway); the RGM seems to have found a way to make it work for her; don't jinx it.

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  2. A fine old-style CM post! But I have to add what courage to want to take students off campus to experience--anything!

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  3. I second 1184's notion that you re brave to endure the trip and the potential for a disaster in public. I've gotten to know some students in a more informal setting (research group parties, etc) and they are tolerable. Some are even interesting people. For the most part, they are the exceptions.

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  4. Beyonce and Adele sound really annoying (I'm also wondering how, after many decades of hanging out with singers, I haven't encountered more divas. Maybe they don't hang out as much in choirs -- or at least I've been blessed with choir directors who don't stand for (much) divaish nonsense?

    I agree that planning the field trip was brave on the instructor's part. Such expeditions were part and parcel of my elementary and high school years, and happened a bit in college as well, but I've never tried one (though some of my colleagues have -- admittedly usually to large libraries or other research centers, which offer somewhat fewer potential pitfalls).

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    1. My colleague who teaches Structure of Gerbil Burrows and Rodent Climate Studies takes classes on field trips every term. I went along as a second driver once: the cave tour was fun and the information supplied about the geology of the region was interesting, but college students shouldn't require that much herding.

      There was one young'un who came on a field trip to a cave wearing high heels.

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    2. Ooh, you've reminded me of a field trip when I was a senior undergrad. Most of the class was freshman and sophomores. Witnessing the buffoonery as we waited for the vans to pick us up, I was embarrassed to be part of this group. I let the others pile into the vans first, and when seats had run out, I and another student were relegated to the proffie's private vehicle, a faded Peugeot with a hole in the exhaust system.

      At our second site, I asked the grad TA how things were going in the van he was driving. He begged me to trade places with him. "I'd do it," I replied, "but I'm sure the school's insurance wouldn't allow it." At the third stop, he offered money.

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  5. I also hate being out in public with undergraduates. It throws into painfully sharp relief how they SO often act like SUCH young children, doesn't it?

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  6. Uhm... field trips in college? What is this, the Magic Schoolbus?

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