Thursday, September 15, 2016

Of all the unhinged open letters to soon-to-be college roommates that have appeared in Seventeen magazine, this is my favorite. (From ELS.)

Hi Roomies!
Flava? A blurb cannot do it justice. Oh well, so as not to upset convention, how about, "So as a final reminder: I am getting the top bunk of the bunk bed with the bed on the bottom."

The Whole Thing.

An Update.

9 comments:

  1. I had some pretty loud drama happening outside my office this afternoon with one girl complaining about how another girl was talking to/about her, and how "I'm a Capricorn so I get mad about the smallest things and you just have to deal with that." Her conversation partner was trying to suggest that maybe *she* was the one being unreasonable, but she was having none of it.

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    1. I'm a Capricorn, too, and it takes quite a lot to set me off. To quote the Bard: "The fault . . . lies not in our stars."

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    2. Yeah, I had a hard time not laughing in such a way that the young lady could hear me. Though she might not have heard me over the sound of her own voice if I'd been cackling like a loon.

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  2. I do hope they teach pronoun case at UCLA. That "me and Winnie are this or that or me and Winnie think this or that" was excruciating.

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  3. Sounds like a female Luke Gatti (the Mac & Cheese guy, who got arrested again a few months ago).

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  4. Everybody knows that, assuming you're not in solitary for your and others' protection, the first rule to getting along with your new roommate is not to ask for the top bunk, not to demand the top bunk. There is no need to even mention the top bunk: it is yours and so you can just climb in, if need be removing any items that are not yours. Or so I'm told.

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  5. I feel so sorry for the roommates and I do hope that they can find other room assignments after what will doubtless be a miserable first semester.

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  6. It strikes me that if a young male said some of the things this young woman said (mostly the "ticking time bomb" stuff), he'd be out of the dorm, if not on imposed leave from the university, immediately. I'm not sure that that wouldn't be appropriate in this case. The charitable interpretation is that this young woman is very nervous about moving away from home, and dealing with that badly (mostly by trying to control others, which is where her coping strategies spill over into the extreme-annoyance/inconvenience-to-others, if not the danger-to-others, category); the less-charitable interpretation is that she is, indeed, a ticking time bomb, and needs to do some intensive work on how she deals with others before she's ready for college (or, really, any activity that places her in close proximity to others).

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    1. Cassandra, I agree. If I were one of the other two girls—or their parents—I think I'd be reporting this whole exchange to the university, out of safety concerns. If this young woman can treat other people like this, sight unseen, imagine what she'll be like when they're actually all sharing the same space and inevitably getting on each other's nerves from time to time.

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